My Particular Harbour

Figuring Out Kids

2011-08-08T20:25:00.007-05:00

This past Saturday, I had the great luck to run into a sweet little girl at a birthday party. She was three or four, shy, and just as cute as a button. She was obviously completely out of her element, understanding that she and her sister were just their Dad's tag-alongs for the evening. There were no other kids to play with, and though there were three well-mannered dogs, these girls weren't used to dogs. It was just them.

(Bill Frazzetto, http://www.flickr.com/photos/bfraz/11768748/)

At one point, I did my best to talk to her. And that best lasted, um, two minutes. It was just terrible. I'm not sure if I don't know how to connect to children or she was perhaps particularly shy, but I wasn't getting anywhere with her. She had a little action figure of Daphne from Scooby Doo that she handed me. And she had some Disney princess that I couldn't name and wasn't permitted to know. Now that I think on it, perhaps it was Belle? The point is this: at what time do you learn how to converse with little girls to where they'll talk back to you?

While you ponder that gem, let me share this one as well: A great story on how to talk to little girls, after you've learned to talk with them at all. This is a great perspective on how to teach a little girl that she matters, that her opinion matters, that what she does matters as opposed to who she is, how her hair looks or what she's wearing . . . which all little girls carry with them through adolescence into adulthood.

While we're on the subject of raising children the correct way, this is most certainly not the right way to do it. The cheating scandal from Atlanta has just taught a generation of children (who were in those classes at that time) that if it's too hard, just look for the easy way out.

A lot of conversation has been had about what will happen to the teachers and administrators who willfully or complicity participated in the scandal. But what about the conversation about what happens to the children who really didn't pass those tests? What about the children who really should still be in the second grade, but are now in the eighth? What about the kids who have failed at basic educational skills for years, but were failed by those who needed to have their best interests at heart?

Of course, any conversation about student engagement and participation can't be had without thinking of the other participants: the parents. Where are the parents who knew their kid shouldn't be doing that well? Are they that naive? Were they all so hopeful that one day their kid would suddenly become brilliant, that when it happened, they didn't question it at all? Or are all of the parents of the cheated kids just out of touch and don't care?

I'm sure I don't know the answers to those questions and I'm sure each circumstance is different and unique, but I'd like to think that even mildly-engaged parents of under-performing students would have seen something was wrong.

What are your thoughts? Your suggestions on how to talk to little girls? Or the best questions to help them understand their self-worth? Or your thoughts on the Atlanta cheating scandal?

The Power of Positive Thinking

2011-07-17T19:11:00.005-05:00

It's cliched, trite and overused, this phrase. It's been the title of a popular book by Norman Vincent Peale. And it's true.

(Thoughtful, by Mel B.)

In the June 2011 newsletter from the Center for Creative Leadership, there's an article entitled, "You Are What You Think You Are."It does a great job of reinforcing this truism and clearly pointing out ways to combat negative thoughts.

One thing this article reminded me about was the need to have a mantra, to literally tell yourself over and over and over and over again one particular thing that is essential for you believe about yourself. For me, that mantra is "Strong. Intelligent. Beautiful." I've tried to make it a part of my personal brand.

Personal branding, I think, comes straight from understanding the concept of positive self-talk. Personal branding, in it's most basic form, is perhaps the intersection of the best understanding of yourself and how you want to be perceived by others. It's the place where self-esteem is permitted, nay, encouraged to grow.

At the beginning of personal branding, you have your benchmark. Continually participating in positive self-talk can and will help move you from your benchmark and in the direction of your ultimate personal brand.

How do you practice the power of positive thinking? Have you considered how this can work for you in relation to your personal brand?

And Don't Forget to Be Happy

2011-07-14T19:36:00.003-05:00

For a number of years, I've struggled with understanding happiness: how to be happy, specifically; that while you can be very happy, there's a definite difference between passive and active happiness; and, understanding that happiness is not just innate and automatic most of the time.

That's a hard realization, I've discovered: finding out that once things are "set" (whatever "set" may be for you), happiness isn't automatically included. Happiness, it turns out, is not part of the "set" package. It's a value-add that you actually have to decide on "purchasing." It's like some insurance; the insurance can be a great idea and is sometimes a life-saver, but is not automatically included.

And you do have to "purchase" happiness, in a sense. You have to want it, and in wanting it, you have to work towards it. Since happiness isn't automatic and won't just happen, you have to learn, through trial, what really makes you happy.

And then, you have to Do. Those. Things.

You're essentially "purchasing" your happiness: putting time and energy into things that you know will pay off handsomely when it comes to your mental and physical health. Life will be better if you try to be happy, even if it seems to be terrible right now.

Happiness, it turns out, is a lot like relationships. Or plants. Or pets. Or, I imagine, kids. You have to nurture happiness to have enough of it or . . . realize one day that you miss it. At least that void is fixed easily enough. (One caveat: mental illness is a completely different beast; thus and such, the rules for returning to true happiness are completely different--and this blog post will not address those.)

And so, I'm going to revisit a tried and true list of things that make me happy and enjoy my evening with the wonderful man in my life, another glass of wine, a book and a great little, purring fuzzball. And remember to "purchase" my happy.

The Blessings of Those Gone Before

2011-07-11T19:20:00.002-05:00

When I started this blog years ago, one of the ways that I found to generate content was to share emails that my Grandma Tawanka had written me while I was in college. Yes, I was in college a good number of years ago--about 13 years to be exact. And 13+ years ago, the Internet was still in it's infancy. Email, while I was in undergrad at UNC-CH, was still checked with a dial-up Unix program. The idea of a user-friendly interface was a strange and evolving idea, but had to be done, because not everyone could remember that ^X was Cut and ^V was Paste. But, I digress.

Realizing that I had some blog momentum that I'd started building last week, I needed to post something to keep it going. And I thought I'd return to that old crutch: sharing my Grandmother's wisdom. Now, it's not that I took that wisdom for granted; in fact, many people have told me over the years how wonderful and what a blessing it was that I shared those thoughts. It's just that it became awfully easy for me to pull out one of Grandma's thoughts, instead of thinking up my own topic.

So, as I navigated to the files where I keep Grandma's emails, I began to realize something had happened. That something was that I had effectively posted all of Grandma's emails before my blog fell off a cliff into utter oblivion.

And . . . well, that's just tearing me apart. Although I loved re-reading and sharing her emails, not having them to read and savor as I format them and get them ready for you to read means that she's gone once again. And though we were never terribly close (we lived on different coasts of this great country, you see), I LOVED getting those emails from her. Really, at that time, no one else I knew had a Grandma who would email them. It made me realize how special I was to her.

So, though I'm sad that I don't have any more words of wisdom to share with you from my Grandma, I hope you'll look through the blog for the posts tagged with "Grandma's Thoughts" and find one that you like.

Because they're all there. And I hope you, too, will take a blessing from those who have gone before us.

Has Facebook Lost Its Finesse?

2011-07-05T21:05:00.008-05:00

In Toastmasters this evening, a very interesting theory was postulated in one of the speeches: Facebook has lost it's finesse for those long-term, bleeding edge adopters.

Those who were once permitted Facebook use because they had the use of a .edu email address in bygone years may have grown weary of Facebook and its uses. Those who once posted their class schedules and their one measly photo, now may have lost interest in the social media platform that has become so ubiquitous, so popular, so prevalent, so . . . bourgeois.

(Source: Lucius Beebe Memorial Library's Photostream)

True enough that Facebook has no exclusivity any longer. Where one once had to be a student or a professor at an educational institution--which insinuates that you were intelligent and computer savvy in the days when computer savvy was still rare--Facebook is now a veritable mall of social networking. Anyone, from age 13 up, is "permitted" to have a Facebook account. Anyone. The quiet nerd. The outgoing socialite. The popular and unpopular alike. The rich and the poor and everyone in between. (I have it on good authority that the most visited website at our public library is Facebook.)

This theory is definitely one that has given me pause. I still find value in Facebook. Heck, my family seems to only know how to communicate through Facebook (but hey, it works . . .). And it still can share the richness of life: because of Facebook's immediacy and users seeming lack of inhibition in posting (even me - because we forget about the extra 250 people we friended, thinking only of maybe even 10), we get genuine, raw emotion. We get videos of our far away friends doing . . . whatever they may be doing. We get photos of their significant life events, the ones they're so excited about that they want *almost* everyone to know about.

Perhaps for those original Facebookers, something is lost. IMHO, I think that loss has been a great boon to everyone else, however.

Tell me: what do you think? Has Facebook lost its finesse for you?

Happy Brithday, America!

2011-07-04T17:08:00.002-05:00

For me, the fourth of July is a time to reflect on where this country has been and how far we've come--also known as understanding and appreciating the history of this great country.

Now, I'm not much of a history buff. In fact, I don't think anyone would ever use the word "buff" in a sentence with the word "history" and a reference to me. I will say that history has become more interesting and more important to me as I've grown, although I don't think I'll ever actively seek out more history to read or watch.

Well, let me take that back. Perhaps I will. History is, after all, a story. And I do like a good story, be it nonfiction or fiction. Indeed, I realize that I've been seeking out increasing amounts of history in my life: my husband and I went to Washington, D.C. for vacation this year, where you simply cannot escape the history of this great nation. I've found that I like to read well-written biographies or autobiographies, and film really conveys the intense emotions found in history much better than other mediums.

Most recently, we watched Gettysburg. Or, more correctly, we finished Gettysburg (it is quite a lengthy movie). As Jeffrey points out, the director is and was a neophyte when he made this film, but what makes it great is the director's love of Civil War history.

You get to see that the soliders had no time to grieve; they had to fight to stay alive. You don't feel the hunger of the soldiers, but you hear their commander ask over and over again for rations for his troops, so you know they're probably starving. You see the anguish and stress that General Lee was under in trying to plan an attack, as well as the hope in his face as he watches his troops advance on the field of battle. You see the myriad of troops march across the field, ultimately to their deaths . . . and you feel the fear, but you also feel their strong resolve.

And, at the end of the battle, you get to see the pain and torment of war. You understand that those who survived, those very brave men on both sides, will never be able to banish from their minds what they had seen that day, much less any of what they'd seen in the days, weeks, months and years before.

And for those men and women (who did participate in the Civil War and were essential to the fight on both sides), as well as those before and all those after: Thank you. Thank you for our freedom and fighting to help preserve it. I pray that we may never take your sacrifice for granted.

Searching for Good Money Advice

2011-06-29T20:57:00.002-05:00

If you know me, you know that I've long been a student of all things money, particularly ways to save it and keep it. Now, that doesn't mean I'm frugal. Far from it. In fact, I spend money when I'm blue and I love, love, love to not have to cook. Doesn't mean I don't like to cook. I just don't want to have to do it. So, needless to say, I like to eat out.

I'm happy that I've found these two great enewsletters recently, full of good money advice for women: DailyWorth and LearnVest. I've been a DailyWorth reader for more than a year now - a function of surviving during 14 months of unemployment - and I find their information fascinating and helpful, usually. LearnVest seems to be a little less helpful . . . but I'm reserving final judgement. I've only been a subscriber for a just over a month.

In any case, if you're on the lookout for good advice, check out DailyWorth and LearnVest. And, if I can keep up this semi-regular blog again, keep a lookout for more posts on money! 'Cause hey: we all want it, we all need it, so what are we going to do with it?

Can. Not. Wait.

2011-06-25T13:29:00.000-05:00

Saturday's Combo Thursday-Friday Post

2010-01-09T22:09:00.004-05:00

Ok, so I'm on a delay. C'est la vie.

Thankful Thursday: Because it's been so freakin' cold recently, I continue to be thankful that I have a place to kick off my heels and hang my stockings; that I can heat that very special place; that I can afford to pay the bill for that heat; and that I have unemployment as income so that I can pay that bill (and several others) for the heat.

It's a great time to remember that if you're blessed enough to have even that, perhaps you should skip your next Starbucks fix and drop the money off at the Samaritan Ministries or Crisis Control Ministries.

And, for Fabulous Friday: I'm dating myself here, but I will admit that I was (am?) a Trekkie. Ergo, the Tribbles:
If you want one, check out ThinkGeek. They "shake and quail," according to the product pushers. Be careful, however, that your adopted Tribble(s) don't turn into millions overnight. Or get near Klingons.

My Days of the Week

2010-01-06T19:34:00.002-05:00

So, in an effort to return to more regular blogging, I've decided to make it a little easier on myself. Really. I'm going to denote particular days of the week as particular topical themes.

Here's what I'm thinking:
- Movie Mondays
- Wacky Wednesdays
- Thankful Thursdays
- Fabulous Fridays

I'm leaving the other days of the week open. And not committing. At least, not unless I have something to write!

Peace of Mind

2010-01-01T23:33:00.004-05:00

(February 26, 2000)

Peace of mind is a jewel looked for in the worst of times and in the best of times. It's the feeling we get when we turn off a busy road to a secluded spot along a country lane. Peace is suppertime when the sunset gilds every window and a quiet contentment makes man and nature akin. It is a warm bath, a soft pillow, a shaft of moonlight that touches the spirit.

It is knowing that things can work out: peace comes and life is worth living.

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you would risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the sheer adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

We never really lose anyone, if they were ever a part of our lives. The important thing is not to regret what has gone before but to take from it the lesson and the experience that was in it for us.

Life is a two-way street: not always sunshine and flowers, but a few clouds and a few tears go with it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own . . . if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tip of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself . . . if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore, trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see the beauty even when it's not pretty every day, and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of a full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for your children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

When all these questions are answered, then I can look with tranquility inside myself and say:

"With beauty above me, I lie down . . .
With beauty around me, I lie down . . .
With beauty before me, I lie down . . .
With beauty below me, I lie down."

Peace to all,
Mom (Tawanka)
************************************************************************
Though I am close to completing Tawanka's emails, I've come to notice they've been saved out of order. I had hoped to post them in order, but alas, I have not.

That said, I've looked over the last several that I have to post and realize that this is the last email that Tawanka ever sent. She died less than two weeks after this email. It is one of her longer emails, but certainly one that, I think, sums up much of what her emails tried to convey: the love, peace, and her particular way of looking at life.

* Sigh.* Miss you, grandma.

Write? But why?

2009-12-02T23:12:00.002-05:00

So, here it is. The post in which I tell you that I failed miserably at Nanowrimo this year. The post in which I tell you that I still haven't found my rhythm yet since I've been unemployed. The post in which I remind you that I've been unemployed for, um, almost 6 months now.

In other news, I have been doing some freelancing. And a good chunk of my time every week is often spent figuring out COBRA and all things related to COBRA. And I'm still hung up on this "madly in love" thing that's going on.

I think those are the best reasons possible for any failure on my part of the former. ;)

It's That Time Again

2009-10-21T22:37:00.003-05:00

November 1 starts the word count. I'll find a counter, as in the past, and stick it on the left. Help keep me accountable! Oh - and feel free to pass along any great story ideas. I'm fresh out right now.

Moving Past the Past

2009-09-29T23:57:00.003-05:00

(February 11, 1999)

Many things from the past echo within us--voices, sounds, thoughts--some of them best forgotten.

Sometimes, we remember just so we can be grateful. Like the well-fed dog that turns primitive at the sight of a bone, we pick up on our own instincts and react before we think.

If we see what is about to happen we can meet it with good humor and have less need to make everyone in the present time pay dearly for what happened so long ago.

Peace,
Tawanka

Hello, World

2009-09-28T18:36:00.003-05:00

Why yes, it's been a while. Good to see you, too. Hope you're doing well.

Here's the short & long: Life's good. Enjoying unemployment (as much as one can enjoy unemployment). Wyndham Championship went well this year, as did the 2009 Professional Development Seminar for the Tarheel Chapter of PRSA.

And, news of all news: I'm head-over-heels in love.

'Bout damn time.

The Value of Remembering

2009-06-13T09:35:00.002-05:00

(February 11, 1999)

Many things from the past echo within us--voices, sounds, thoughts--some of them best forgotten.

Sometimes we remember just so we can be grateful. Like the well-fed dog that turns primitive at the sight of a bone, we pick up on our own instincts and react before we think.

If we see what is about to happen we can meet it with good humor and have less need to make everyone in the present time pay dearly for what happened so long ago.

Peace,
Tawanka

Good Stuff from Intel

2009-05-11T20:58:00.001-05:00

Wonder how long it got them to sign the "Bong" part correctly? Hmmm . . .

So Completely Inspiring!

2009-04-16T20:50:00.004-05:00

I imagine that many of you don't listen to NPR's All Things Considered and perhaps didn't hear this story yesterday evening. I imagine that many of you also don't watch Britain's Got Talent. I imagine that you may not yet have been one of the 15 MILLION people to see this fabulous performance by Susan Boyle.

So, take a look. You won't be disappointed. In fact, you'll be shocked. Awestruck. Happy. Joyous. And chills will overcome you, if they don't make you cry from genuine happiness and knowing that you're hearing something, well, extraordinary!

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we'll live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So much different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed.

Kudos, Susan Boyle. May God and his angels bless you on your journey and soon bring us all such beautiful music!

P.S. - Elaine Page has nothing on you. Your performance has blown her's out of the water.

The True Cost of A Lie

2009-04-15T18:10:00.000-05:00

(April 22, 1999)

In the early days, the mother of a young boy suspected that he had become involved in a conspiracy and was being used by his friends to do wrong. She said, "Open your eyes and ears and listen to me. I have always taught you not to lie."

Liars are lost in a world of their own. We have seen it glamorized in a world of make believe until the real world has difficulty telling the truth, even when there is no reason to lie. A lie, in whatever form, is deceit and deceit is a major block to stable lives.

The biggest lie of all is that lying is in any way harmless. To follow through the with the Big Lies leads to mass destruction, whether in our own lives or the lives of many others.

Dear God, we pray that no other child will believe the lies that these boys did in Colorado.

Peace,
Tawanka

Ahh, the Weather

2009-03-09T22:58:00.002-05:00

Regardless of the fact that the weather brought us in NC snow (several inches of it last Monday), it's brought us weather that makes us all pine for spring even more. Saturday, Sunday and Monday have filled us with longing to be warm again, to see the flowers bloom, and to dream of picnics and backyard grilling fests.

It is this time that makes us realize what we wish the perfect day is. For me, the perfect day is one much like today: high 70s, bright, sunny, low humidity, a fast car, loud music, a chance to play in the garden, a good walk around the neighborhood with Jess and not too much stress.

What's your perfect day? If it happens soon, be grateful and sit as one with the Creator to give thanks.

I am . . .

2009-03-02T22:25:00.005-05:00

a hopeless romantic. *Sigh.*

Occasionally, when JAS isn't here to occupy my time, I tend to find myself sucked into particularly bad television. Like The Bachelor, especially when it's the finale.

So I got myself all wrapped up in the last 30 minutes thinking: "Even if reality television isn't really reality and even if the crew completely set up every single shot and got it as perfect as possible, isn't it still possible to find love in conditions like this?"

Let's suspend all disbelief for a second and really look at the facts:

A major entertainment company is manipulating your every move for however many weeks it takes to film this little 'experiment.'
See above, but insert "their" for "your."
If you are the 'bachelor/bachelorette,' you have very few true decisions. Sure, you get to hand over a rose every episode, but you don't get to decide which movie, how late to stay up, where to eat dinner, what to eat for dinner, etc., etc., etc. As the bachelor/bachelorette, you forfeit every opportunity to be yourself.
See #3, but insert "they/their" for "you/your."
The show is created to increase stress and pressure. You're told your goal is to find someone to propose to at the end. Every day brings you closer to that decision. Every small, stupid rose ceremony brings you closer to that decision. Every time you dismiss one of your 'harem,' you are likely to severely doubt your decision, especially because your 'harem' has been scientifically and painstakingly selected to make your decision really, really hard.
The major entertainment company is out to make money.
The major entertainment company is also out to earn high ratings. They honestly couldn't care less about your feelings or the feelings of any of the others on the show. It's never been about you. It's always been about them.
You are separated from all that relaxes you and is familiar to you: friends, family, your favorite chair, pets, particular coffee maker, etc. Those things which you choose to have in your life are not a part of your life at all during this event. You are not yourself.
See #2 and #4. Apply to #8.
You are very much encouraged to show emotion and to be sure that it's strong emotion, yet you have to face this emotion all by yourself. No therapist in their right mind would ever wish that on anyone. Life was meant to be lived with others, not alone in seclusion.

And, lo and behold, true love appeared to have visited the cast of The Bachelor this evening. (At least it wasn't as believable as Hallmark commercials and I didn't cry.) At least, it appeared to be until it was revealed in the "follow-up show," which aired immediately afterward, that this poor man was going through serious heartbreak. Again.

And so, despite all evidence to the contrary, I remain hopeful. I am a romantic. I understand that these men and women desperately want to be a part of something big, to perhaps win the heart of someone special this time.

And so, because I am the hopeless romantic, I watch knowing that in all likelihood the relationship at the end is very possibly doomed from the first day that either person even considered such a tactic for finding love.

Small Can Equal Very Strong

2009-02-25T23:42:00.004-05:00

(April 14, 1999)

Great strength exists in the smallest things.

A spider's web is so exquisitely formed, a fragile gossamer remnant. But it is stronger in proportion to size and weight than the finest steel.

The hummingbird's wings send out impulses strong enough to resemble the throb of a tiny high speed engine . . . but early on, it was thought that because of the way its wings were constructed, it could never fly.

Love can be a mere glance, a brief word, a silent touch. But it reaches past time and space.

Prayer, short, deep . . . a word from the heart and spirit can work miracles and change a whole world.

Reach out!

Peace,
Tawanka

Another FAIL for LiveNation

2009-02-02T16:48:00.003-05:00

See the email exchange that happened today, just 10 minutes ago. Another FAIL. Why do I keep expecting better?

From: Live Nation Support
Sent: Monday, February 2, 2009 4:32:20 PM
Subject: CLT Buffett tix issues [Incident: 090131-000292]

Live Nation Support
Please find below information related to your Live Nation ticket inquiry or ticket purchase. To find answers around-the-clock, please visit our online FAQ at www.livenation.com/help

If this issue is not resolved to your satisfaction, please respond to this message.

Thank you for allowing us to be of service to you.

Subject
CLT Buffett tix issues

Discussion Thread
Response (Katy) 02/02/2009 01:32 PM
Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for contacting Live Nation Customer Care with your inquiry. Our records reflect that you were able to purchase 6 ticket for Jimmy Buffett at Verizon Charlotte. These tickets are located on the lawn and will be printed and shipped out to you early this week. I apologize for any confusion during the purchase process.

Thank you,

Katy
Live Nation Customer Care

WTF? Katy, did you even read the email?

Katy,

Thanks for your response.

Unfortunately, it does nothing to address the issues I raised in my letter to you, other than to apologize for confusion. (By the way: I felt no confusion during the process; just intense dislike of the horrible way that LiveNation chooses to serve it's customers.)

What does LiveNation have to say for itself and this despicable experience? Surely, this isn't what the LiveNation brand is supposed to stand for--or am I giving the company more credit than it's due?

Awaiting a real answer,
Your still very upset customer,
Elizabeth

More LiveNation Fuss

2009-01-31T11:50:00.002-05:00

I'm evidently not the only one with a bone to pick with LiveNation. See Technorati's chart about LiveNation chatter on the interwebs:

Posts that contain Livenation per day for the last 90 days.

My Letter to LiveNation

2009-01-31T11:30:00.001-05:00

I'm shocked at how bad my ordering experience was this morning.

At 9:59 a.m. EST, my computer let me click on the "Buy Tickets" button for the CLT Buffett show. I was at first pleasantly surprised when I made it through the word verification screen, and saw the screen ticker telling me that you were finding my tickets. "Success!" I thought. "Wow, this is even easier than Ticketmaster was in the past. This is awesome!"

Yet, your site returned an error page. "Return to event," said the button, giving me hope that this was a one-time glich. Little did I know this would be a 45-minute glich.

Your site returned an error message, after having to re-select the tickets and try to read the word verification screen 37 TIMES.

One of the error screens that I saw in my horrible ticket buying experience with LiveNation.

There were more than three times where the site didn't return me to the event page, as the button told me it would. It returned me to the temporary home page that told me what was ON SALE this morning. (Am I supposed to feel sympathy for the fact that you don't have the systems to handle this amount of traffic?) Those times I had to click back through to get to my event, adding even more time and stress to an already time-constrained and stressful situation.

THEN, your site told me that the CLT show was SOLD OUT. "Sorry, this show is sold out." So I began to try the Raleigh show.

Again, with the error screens. 7 more here, but I finally got through. Here's the issue though: Raleigh isn't going to work for us, so when calmer times returned, I decided to "Release the Tickets" (as the button said) to check CLT ONE MORE TIME.

Click "Release" and move on. Nothing should be in my cart, right? Any sane person would think that would be the case.

So, I go to check the CLT site on the off-chance that your system truly does suck as much as it's proving to, and that you might have royally screwed up.

Lo and behold: I'm proven right. LiveNation does suck, becuase NOW the CLT show IS NOT SOLD OUT. But it was a mere, oh, 5 minutes ago. WHY?

SO, I decide to try to get tickets again. It's a show I really, really want to see.

Again, with the error messages. Only four this time; you must have improved a bit.

Finally get to the page where I'm supposed to have 10 minutes to finalize my order, and yet, I only have 6 minutes and thirty seconds. Where did my other three minutes and thirty seconds go, hmmm?

But is that it? Does your ridiculous ordering process get any easier? OH NO!

The Raleigh tickets I'd "Released"? Yep, still in my cart. So, I use some of my precious 6:30 trying to AGAIN GET THEM OUT OF MY CART.

Finally, something goes right when it's supposed to and the tickets come out.

Filling out the final steps, I find I have to create an account. WHY CAN'T I JUST BUY TICKETS AS A GUEST? And why, oh why, couldn't you tell me BEFORE I tried to get my tickets? My precious 6:30 is now down to 4:30 and you don't even have my billing information yet.

Entering my information for billing, I find that you HAVEN'T followed STANDARD WEB FORM PRACTICES and you refuse to mark which fields are required. (BTW, you may be the only company in the world who thinks that the SALUTATION is a required field for a WEB FORM.)

I enter my information, typing as fast as I possibly can, trying to make sure I get everything right, watching the seconds tick away out of the corner of my eye. After trying to get these precious tickets through PHONE (which never even rang once) and WEB for more than 40 minutes, I can't lose them now.

Now, I don't know whether your forms will take dashes or hyphens, but some forms don't, so I don't even attempt the dash for Winston-Salem. I bypass it completely, thinking your system certainly couldn't be good enough for that if it's performed the way it has so far.

Happily, I uncheck the box giving you permission to send me more email than you already do. After such horrible service, I want nothing to do with a company like yours.

The paying part is perhaps the easiest--until I find out that you can't put any spaces between your credit card number. (Why isn't there a note beside the field? Have you just decided that web form standards SHOULDN'T apply to you?)

As my time nears 2:30, I finally get to click the button to purchase, hoping that your system doesn't decide to give me YET ANOTHER ERROR MESSAGE and I can finally buy my tickets. I think that after 45 minutes, this is the worst ticket buying experience I have ever had. And it is.

I even ponder printing my own tickets, because I have serious, serious doubts of your ability to actually print the correct tickets and send them to me before April 21.

As all smart consumers do, I print my confirmation page which wastes 4 extra pages of paper, because you won't let my computer print what it shows on my web browser, instead opting for some ugly, lengthy list-like printout.

Now, I'm going to log into my email, to print that confirmation as well, BECAUSE I HAVE SERIOUS DOUBTS IN LIVENATION'S ABILITY TO ACTUALLY PROVIDE THE SERVICE IT CLAIMS TO.

If I can avoid buying tickets through your service again, be assured that I will.

Also, rest assured that the 6 people I've told has already turned into hundreds, if not thousands, thanks to the fabulous world of social media.

I hope you have a nice day. At least a nicer day than I have had already because of your utter and complete lack of providing a half-way sufficient ticket buying platform.

Sincerely,
Your very, very upset customer,
Elizabeth

I Lied

2009-01-29T20:20:00.004-05:00

Really, I did. Well, maybe not. I did have the best of intentions of updating the blog the other day, but it didn't happen. So, it's happening now.

Here's the short and long (apologies for the list):

1) I've got a mouse. Or not. We've caught two. Evidence below.

2) I joined Facebook. Yes, it's that time waster of all time wasters. I'm not completely involved in people's lives who I wasn't really involved in for a while, most of which was A-OK by me.

3) I'm still trying to figure out the fine balance of what fits the Liz brand versus what does not on Facebook. My instincts are not nearly as fine tuned as they are with blogging yet.

4) Tournament planning has officially started again, and despite the very late request to help, I'm happy to. Luckily, it'll be a very easy year.

5) I got a car. A 2006 Infiniti G35 Coupe. Red, of course. And fast. Very fast. It's fun.

6) A week or so after getting said Infiniti, I find out that they're coming out with a G35 Convertible THIS YEAR. Figures.

7) The boy's good, but would appreciate another investor for his film. Interested? Lemme know.

8) Peter Shankman is pretty, well, wide open. Saw him at the PRSA banquet a few weeks back, and that's really the only way to describe him.

9) Very, very, very glad that I've got a job. Know of more people looking for them and unemployed right now than I'd like to. Let's hope the economy turns sooner as opposed to later.

10) Quite happy that we've got a new pres and that I got to watch the inaugration at the office. Quite unhappy that NONE of the GOP could see fit to support the economic stimulus package. Humph.

11) I also tweet now, as in Twitter. It's microblogging. I get 140 characters to tell you what I'm doing (which, to be honest, may not be all that interesting). However, I'm still learning and trying to put out decently interesting content. Let me know what you think. See the feed to the left to see what I've tweet-ed recently.

12) Went to go help a good friend from undergrad watch the moving guys pack and ship her stuff recently in Greenville, SC. I certainly think that downtown has quite a bit going for it and those downtowns trying to do the same thing had better sit up and take notice.

13) Had a good new year's, especially because I actually got a decent new year's kiss out of it. Out late, with a bunch o' friends and friends o' friends. Just a few chocolate cake shots. And green monsters. And other such wonderful libations poured by the best barkeep in the world.

14) Buffett's already announced for the summer! Woot!

Ok, that's it. It's enough, isn't it? Surely, it is. More later. Like tomorrow or Saturday later. (Because the rules for Liz time go into effect in T-30 and counting . . .)

Never Fails . . .

2009-01-25T10:04:00.003-05:00

Something big happens, and I get pulled away. At least it's something good this time.

Issuing new rules for myself today. And I'll be writing more later, so check again later, for the brief-yet-hopefully-pithy update of, oh, the last two months or so.

Choosing to be Wise

2009-01-09T18:42:00.002-05:00

(April 12, 1999)

Most arguments are traps of one kind or another. Let go, and realize that what is happening should be avoided like poison. The argument is on the other side . . . leave it there.

The best revenge is to refuse to fight--and it brings to mind what someone said: "If you argue with a fool, you will end up being one."

Peace,
Tawanka

Thoughts

2009-01-08T00:11:00.002-05:00

1) Happy New Year!

2) I got a new car. It's red. Fast. Shiny. For a really decent price. And I've gotten my phone to work through the stereo system. (Anyone in the market for a 9-year-old CRV with 210K miles???)

3) Though I LOVE the holidays, this year they took a lot of energy out of me. Probably didn't help that I was sick. I'm glad they're over. And I'm ready to be done with the christmas novels I'm still reading for book club that I'm hosting later this month.

4) I miss both of my sisters. (Yes, I just saw Christy.)

5) I want to go ice skating. And roller skating. And learn how to surf. Think I might do one of the first two this weekend with the man.

A Prayer On Christmas

2008-12-25T11:09:00.002-05:00

For all my readers, friends far and wide -

May the spirit of the Christ child be with you
and all those you hold dear.

May the everlasting love of the Father bless you
and keep you for evermore.

May the new year be filled with hope, joy, happiness
and peace for you and those in your heart.

May you always be surrounded by the love
and companionship of friends and family.

xo,
Liz

Christmas Favorite No. 9

2008-12-24T09:44:00.002-05:00

NORAD Tracks Santa.

This is perhaps the best thing that technology has done for Christmas and kids: tracking Santa's flight around the world. It may be just before 10 a.m. here on the east coast, but you see that Santa's busy in the rest of the world already.

I *LOVE* that individuals in our armed forces volunteer to answer phones, emails, and work all night on Christmas Eve to let us know where Santa is. I also *LOVE* the sponsors who think this is so important that they find money for it every year.

Christmas Favorite, No. 8

2008-12-21T23:17:00.005-05:00

Moravian Stars.

Ok, granted: if you don't live in Winston-Salem, NC, or Bethlehem, PA, or the Moravia area of today's Czech Republic, you probably just think these are really cool stars. Nope.

The star originated in Germany, and is actually an art from. These stars were originally made of paper and tradition holds that they were the basis of a geometry lesson in 1850. The stars can have any number of points, as long as they are based on polyhedrons. Today's Moravian Stars are often made of plastic (to survive the harsh winter weather) and lit, so that you can see them at night.

Quite obviously, these stars are a representation of the Star of Bethlehem and are known as the Advent Star, because Moravians begin displaying them on the first Sunday of Advent. The star is an outward symbol of the period of waiting and preparation for the celebration of Christmas.

And here's a bit of local trivia: Winston-Salem has named the Moravian Star as our official holiday decoration (which is why two hang from every light pole in the downtown this time of year) and the Moravian Star atop Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Cente r is 31 feet tall, one of the largest in the world. (I've tried to find a picture, but can't. Anyone got one?)

For me, the star is also a symbol of home, especially because I've lived in a very Moravian community for more than 20 years now. I'm always shocked to see Moravian stars in unexpected places: Tampa, FL, for example. The star reminds me also of the peace and joy that I feel at the WFU lovefeast every year (and others) as well as the blessed waiting that is Advent.

(Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moravian_star, http://www.moravianbookshop.com/article_page.asp?Event_ID=153)

More on Change

2008-12-21T14:40:00.001-05:00

(April 11, 1999)

If the wind was a person, we would probably say something nasty about him. The more we try to ignore it, the more it seems to intrude . . . blowing away the fruit tree blossoms before we have seen them . . . whipping the lilacs and irises when their beauty is at its peak.

It carries seeds of wildflowers and drops them in unexpected places to please us. It helps to unfurl new leaves and to bring rain.

Changes, like wind, have to be endured at times. But eventually we understand and often like the results. It requires our patience--which gives us time to prepare for what is to come, the same way we have patience with a windy person that blows and goes but means well.

Peace,
Tawanka

Christmas Favorite No. 7

2008-12-17T20:24:00.002-05:00

This gem that I've not heard nearly enough this season.

Love it. I like the Sara Groves version better, though.

The Joy of the Season

2008-12-16T16:56:00.001-05:00

(April 7, 1999)

It seems only yesterday when the first cold wind blew in and laid flat the wild roses and turned their canes gray. Leaves turned and dropped. Snow fell and drifted. Winter threatened to last forever.

But it didn't.

Spring runs in and out like a child opening and slamming a door just to irritate us. The birds are flirting and the wildflowers are beginning to show their heads.

It is time for a change--not only in nature, but in us. We enjoy the break between winter and spring. In our mind's eye we can see the wildflowers spreading their fragrance along the fields.

It is with the same eye that we see ourselves blooming with health and prospering beyond our dreams.

Only those who walk under a cloud miss the joy of this time, the open fields and greening hills.

Peace,
Tawanka

Christmas Favorite No. 6

2008-12-13T10:33:00.004-05:00

Two poems by Ogden Nash (who, btw, wrote this fabulous little gem: "Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.")

"The Boy Who Laughed at Santa Claus"

In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.
In school he never led his classes,
He hid old ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked NO ADMITTANCE.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.

Another trick that tickled Jabez
Was crying 'Boo' at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in town,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Yet people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
'There isn't any Santa Claus!'

Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.

Like whooping cough, from child to child,
He sped to spread the rumor wild:
'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes
There isn't any Santa Claus!'
Slunk like a weasel of a marten
Through nursery and kindergarten,
Whispering low to every tot,
'There isn't any, no there's not!'
The children wept all Christmas eve
And Jabez chortled up his sleeve.
No infant dared hang up his stocking
For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking.
He sprawled on his untidy bed,
Fresh malice dancing in his head,
When presently with scalp-a-tingling,
Jabez heard a distant jingling;
He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof
Crisply alighting on the roof.
What good to rise and bar the door?
A shower of soot was on the floor.

What was beheld by Jabez Dawes?
The fireplace full of Santa Claus!
Then Jabez fell upon his knees
With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.'
He howled, 'I don't know where you read it,
But anyhow, I never said it!'
'Jabez' replied the angry saint,
'It isn't I, it's you that ain't.
Although there is a Santa Claus,
There isn't any Jabez Dawes!'

Said Jabez then with impudent vim,
'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!
Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'
And suddenly he found he wasn't!
From grimy feet to grimy locks,
Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,
An ugly toy with springs unsprung,
Forever sticking out his tongue.

The neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
They searched for him, but not with zeal.
No trace was found of Jabez Dawes,
Which led to thunderous applause,
And people drank a loving cup
And went and hung their stockings up.
All you who sneer at Santa Claus,
Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes,
The saucy boy who mocked the saint.
Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint.

"The Abominable Snowman"

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one,
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

Revisiting CF #4

2008-12-11T23:33:00.002-05:00

Videos now on YouTube (much better than the ones shot on the Treo):

WFU Concert Choir singing We'll Dress the House.

Joy to the World

Silent Night

Christmas Favorite No. 5

2008-12-11T22:16:00.003-05:00

The people who emerge from their busy lives to take two seconds to remember you.

Like the vet. Who sends me (well, Gypsy) a card every year.

Like my peers, who send me notes to invite me to a party or who enjoy amazing chocolate with me at a professional meeting and ask me how I did it (the APR, I mean).

Like far-away family, who pops up in your email, having found you on LinkedIn, asking for a connection, because you really did mean that much when you were much closer.

Like college friends, whom I love dearly, and cross my mind when I write my annual Christmas letter.

Like people who just seem to show up in your life when you didn't expect them to--like my friend and former co-worker, Linda, and (shockingly) my former boss, Stephanie.

Like friends who are thrilled that we could actually work out the book club meeting, especially when you realize that no one really cares about this book, but about the people around us.

Like the reminders that God puts in your life about those you love, too. I've never seen so many cardinals.

Christmas Favorite No. 4

2008-12-08T23:19:00.007-05:00

The Annual Wake Forest Lovefeast.

As the program notes, "It is just a simple meal enjoyed as the family of God in the context of worship." It's a tradition that Moravians have been celebrating since the 1720s. While now a staple of many holiday celebrations for Moravian congregations (and some others in the area), a lovefeast can held at any time of the year. For more on the beauty of the ceremony and its traditional roots, visit the Moravian Church in North America.

I discovered the Wake Forest University Community Lovefeast several years ago, while reading the paper (props to the WFU Media Services people). I was intrigued--and continue to be intrigued--by the fact that this is the largest lovefeast in the world every year. They hold the service in Wait Chapel on the first Sunday evening of every December and invite students from every part of campus to help celebrate. (More photos here, but none from this year, yet.)

Among the Sacred Dance Ministry, who are responsible for lighting the advent wreath and the candles at the end of the feast, the flute choir, the concert choir, the divinity school choir and the handbell choir are scattered in several thousand normal, regular people including a bunch of students. As with any mass crowd, the timber of the songs becomes beautiful. Classic, favorite sacred Advent, Christmas and winter tunes are sung, each with the gusto or the reverence they require.

Morning Star, WFU's 44th Annual Lovefeast, 2008

It's perhaps the simplicity of the service, the peace of place and the hope that spreads through the audience through the evening, the stark contrast of the strength of light in a world of dark, the blessing of knowing the bad in order to celebrate the good . . . that really begins the holiday season for me. Emotion is so raw, so real, so true. What better way to welcome the season.

And, then, the coup de grace: the singing of the final song, Joy to the World. As everyone stands, lit only by the delicate yet strong light of thousands of small beeswax candles, on the final verse, candles are lifted on high to celebrate the season.

He rules the world with truth and grace, and makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness, and wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love, and wonders, wonders of His love.

Joy to the World, v. 3, 44th Annual Lovefeast, WFU 2008

In My Email Today

2008-12-08T09:51:00.001-05:00

Each friend represents a world within us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." — Anais Nin
Our friends nourish and sustain us. They reveal parts of ourselves we never knew existed. A friend can also be a reminder of a certain time or place in our lives. So maintaining the bonds of friendship is important for every woman. In fact, women with good social support weather stress and unexpected turns in the road better than women without it. Whether it's one friend or ten, companionship is part of what makes us who we are.

*Sigh.*

Christmas Favorite, No. 3

2008-12-07T10:47:00.002-05:00

Angels.

Actually, angels are a year-round favorite for me, but at Christmas, the representations of them are almost omnipresent. I've actually got a nice little collection going and I'm starting to consider creating an angel tree at some point.

My fascination with angels isn't just because they're beautiful--let's face it, there are a bunch of angel representations out there that are very, very poorly done. It's more that I know that I've got several surrounding me all the time. Really, how else could it be explained that I haven't seriously hurt me/someone else in 31 years? Do you understand that my photo may someday be in Webster's listed under 'clumsy'?

And angels are often harbingers of good news. I can always stand more good news in my life, couldn't you?

Christmas Favorite, No. 2

2008-12-04T21:30:00.004-05:00

Cranberry candles.

There's something about a cranberry candle that not only tells me it's winter, but that it's warm and cozy inside (where the candles are). They don't necessarily remind me of any particular memory, and I'm not really a huge cranberry lover.

But the smell is sweet, light and yet, at the same time full. And the light is bright and dancing, so soft and inviting, in a time of year that is filled with fabulous lights, lights that bring out the hope during the darkest time. The gradient of the red candles echoes the depth and strength of the human spirit.

What better to remember that than the darkest days of the year?

Christmas Favorites, No. 1

2008-12-04T00:13:00.002-05:00

So, I've decided to start a new thing where I post a list of my christmas favorites every day from now until Christmas. I think that should probably do a pretty decent job of letting me focus on the season, as opposed to all the other stuff happening around me.

So, Christmas Favorite No. 1 is . . .

Hope you enjoy!

Oh, Mutts

2008-11-26T18:45:00.005-05:00

This makes me feel a little dichotomous*:

:-)

:'-(

* If you can feel dichotomous, I mean. Never been so disappointed. *Sigh.*

Grief and Moving On

2008-11-23T14:28:00.001-05:00

(March 31, 1999)

This is a new day. The more we let yesterday's unhappiness slide away, the sooner we come into the fullness of the present.

Sorrow will fade.

The new hour will bring new experiences, new jobs to do. We will coax all the sweetness out of every hour and it will sing for us like a bird.

Peace,
Tawanka

Someday, When I'm a Mother

2008-11-18T19:06:00.003-05:00

I'm going to need to remember that this post exists. Because my children, and especially my daughter(s ?), will need to hear it.

Stand up. Stand out. Be smart and strong. It may be some time before you find the one who can appreciate who you are. So be it. Settle for nothing less. Because if your heart must rest in the hands of another man, I want him to be a man strong enough to love a strong woman.

I needed to hear it. I didn't. Or if I did, I didn't believe the speaker.

Now, when I'm told similar things, I believe the speaker. I know the one telling me (whomever it may be) has my best interest at heart, wants to see me happy and wants to do whatever she/he can do to help me get there.

And that makes me very happy.

I need a little levity . . .

2008-11-16T18:04:00.002-05:00

and wine. And writing. And reading. And sleep. And so many other things.

And I really, really just wish I had a little bit of peace.

**********************************************************************************
(April 13, 1999)

The quiet companionship of a comforting person is like balm to the soul.

Like Mother Earth, (s)he absorbs the shock of pain and erases the wounds, and even the scars with time. These people seem to be able to take our hand and walk with us through the difficult places they have already traveled.

They keep us from the loneliness that pervades our experiences, waiting for a word that we have passed through safely. And best of all, they never bring it up again, but let the past take care of the past.

Their eyes are on tomorrow, their hands on the present time so that we never hear empty echoes and are never reminded that we were unhappy. And then, we, in quiet ways, can reach back and take someone else's hand.

(I think we all know someone like this.)

Peace,
Tawanka

I Passed!

2008-11-13T21:43:00.006-05:00

Yep, I officially passed. Got the certificate and all. So, now I've got letters after my name. Feels really good to see that.

It's Day Two . . .

2008-11-02T19:50:00.002-05:00

And I finally have my idea for this year's Nano: a youth minister and his experiences with the children in his church. Interesting enough that I'll write this from a background I don't have (that of being male), but that I'm also considering writing it in a protestant church. Of course, I don't necessarily have experience as a youth minister, but I could be one, if I wanted, so I'm not so concerned about that.

Regardless, I may not be doing much writing at all this week: I sit for my computer-based APR exam this Friday and I've been severely lax in my studying. I've even avoided my books all weekend because it was just more fun to drive (I have the Miata, you see) than it would have been to study.

So, here are my goals for the week:
1) I don't have to work late.
2) My clients are their normal, non-demanding selves.
3) My car really doesn't need a new clutch and I don't have to go find a convertible to buy this week.
4) I can make up my Nano count this weekend at Jeffi's wedding. (It should only be about 12K by Sunday . . .)
5) Any other calamity which would seriously upset any hope at studying I've got.

And, I've already voted, so that won't be an issue. (Glad I did, too: 3.5 hours on Saturday. Wow.)

Go Vote!

2008-10-30T22:21:00.002-05:00

The polls are open now and have been for quite some time. Check here for the list of early voting places in NC. Here's a map of those places in Forsyth County.

Luckily, if you want to vote on Saturday (which I'll be doing), the State Board of Elections revised Saturday hours until 5 p.m. If you're in line at 5, you get to vote. If not, plan to come back on Tuesday.

And, if you want to go ahead and make your decisions before you get to the poll (it does make it quicker to vote once you actually get in), you can print out a sample ballot, here.

Happy voting!

Game Designers Are So Sneaky . . .

2008-10-28T22:25:00.002-05:00

Well, either that, or Tiger Woods can walk on water.

Wait, EA Sports says he can. Hmm . . .

You Can't Be Serious

2008-10-27T21:21:00.002-05:00

"Last night came final and irrevocable proof that the country is entering tough economic times, unseen since the 80s: AC/DC have returned to the top of the album charts for the first time in 28 years." (The Guardian, October 27, 2008, here)

Wow, really? I heard about this on the way home this evening, this theory that AC/DC doesn't do well or release an album unless economic times are really horrendous. And The Guardian does make a good point; see the end of their story for that.

But AC/DC as a bellweather for the economy? Really, how simplistic do they think we are?

In honor of those evidently very intelligent and foresight-filled men . . .

From Shelton . . .

2008-10-20T20:23:00.003-05:00

Yes, I really did stomp grapes. It was lots of fun. Beautiful vineyard. They're the only estate winery in the state, meaning that they grow their own grapes and make their own wine. They're also the largest in the state, and their winemaking process is driven by gravity. Go check it out.

I Really Could've Sworn She Was at Shelton

2008-10-13T20:12:00.002-05:00

I think it comes as no surprise that I became much closer with my paternal grandmother in my senior year of undergrad. She was wired, and stayed that way, even though she lived alone on a mountain with a small dog and the great outdoors in Spokane. It was her way of staying connected to her progeny, especially those of us far away, who wanted to hear from her, who'd share things with her because we knew she would listen and give us good counsel.

When she passed, just a few months after I graduated, I didn't truly get the opportunity to grieve. Now, as I honor her memory by posting her thoughts here, I'm blessed by the presence I feel.

And I'm not really surprised at all that she showed up at Shelton this past weekend to check on me, my mom and my dad. Angels are just good like that, you know.

******************************************************************************
(April 2, 1999)

In the old days, the aged were the story tellers making history and religious values alive and important. In recent times, we make our old ones think they are not important. We spoof their stories and make them feel foolish.

The truth is that we are ignorant of what is precious. Rigidity can creep in and set in young minds if there are no soft memories, no laughter, no times too deep for tears.

Age is grace-a time too valuable to waste.

Peace,
Tawanka

And a glorious Easter to all.

Aughh! We're at War!

2008-10-12T14:01:00.001-05:00

Ok, well, maybe not. But, yesterday at Shelton Vineyards, when they shot the cannon (yes, a cannon; twice, even) to scare the birds out of the vines, it scared almost everyone.

Good wine. Grape stomping. A tour. More wine. Cheese. Art. Beautiful weather. A good day all around.

Photos later, after dad remembers to send them.

Men's Rules for What Not to Do on Match

2008-10-09T21:18:00.004-05:00

Match is fun. It really is. If nothing else, as I've mentioned before, it's great for the ego. But I've come to discover a lot of things guys shouldn't do. Now, should any guy on Match (or some other half-way reputable dating site) find this, I feel it my duty to share the below rules for what not to do on Match.

Do not say, "I know you," unless you really do. Then, if you really do, stop being a freak and actually talk to the gal in real life. If you don't, you're just proving how completely ignorant you are and how highly you think of us women.
If you're much, much older than my preferred age range--like old-enough-to-be-my-father older--that's not cool. That's not cute. That's creepy. And desperate. And so completely transparent.
If you write an email, at least make an effort! You're trying to impress someone on the other side, and dear heavens, if it's me, you lose major points for writing "u" instead of "you" or thinking "a lot" is one word instead of two or for proving that your high school was incorrect in recommending you for graduation because of your severe lack of basic understanding of third-grade English grammar.
Don't say something like, "I thought I'd try this." It's like admitting defeat and that all the other women you've ever met and dated (or tried to date) didn't have anything good to say about you. To anyone. Ever. Please, for all of us, grow a pair and don't think that your life sucks because you're on an on-line dating site. You're not admitting defeat; you're pursuing an additional opportunity.
The profile is there for a reason. Please, fill it out. If we wanted to know nothing about you, we would stare at you from across a crowded coffee shop and do absolutely nothing. Instead, we clicked. If we're interested enough to look at your entire profile, give us at least something to learn about when we get there.
Do not give backhanded compliments like: "I love how you don't waste the space above you're shoulders." (Yep, that's a genuine comment off of Match, grammatical errors and all.)
Do not send a bold-faced booty call message like this: "Let me be honest . . . I'm not looking for a relationship but . . . I'm a very fun guy and you won't be disappointed." That's repulsive. If you want that, try some other site like Adult Friend Finder. Or Craigslist.
Balance the ego with modesty. Yes, you should tell us about the good stuff, but don't puff your chest too much. If you do, it means you have no room to care about anyone else in your life.
Post a photo. Or 12. A head shot's great, but it's amazing what you don't see in a head shot that you wish you'd known about. Attraction online doesn't always start with a photo, but it's still a big part of it.
Get someone who knows you well to see whether you actually match what your profile says. This game doesn't get any easier online; in some respects, it gets harder. Wouldn't it be better if you didn't waste your time and money with someone who thought you were something else entirely, by eliminating that chance at the beginning?

WFDD Wants My Money

2008-10-08T21:34:00.002-05:00

They do. They ask for it about 200 times a day this week. And I'm inclined to give them some of it, especially when they tell me I could win a Mac Book Air (ooh, ahh). But, I'm not convinced.

I'm not convinced because I know how much they ask businesses to pay for "sponsorships." In my industry, they're known as really very expensive, really very short ads that you have to run lots of to make any impact at all.

I'm also not convinced because they could be (if they're not) writing grants to get their funding. And because they get some of my taxpayer money, too.

And, let's be honest: Diane Rehm's voice grates on me like nothing else and someone over at WFDD the other day said it would be worth paying the 27% cost increase for her program next year. I disagree. Completely.

In any case, I do value what NPR brings me, at least most of what it brings me. But I want a little more say in how they spend my money. Shouldn't I be able to vote for which shows make it and which ones don't? Shouldn't I be able suggest that WFDD only give in-kind sponsorships to local arts groups? Shouldn't there be a listener advisory board to help the staff decide how to spend all that money?

Someday, tomorrow perhaps, I will give WFDD money again, especially when they threaten the non-renewal of Morning Edition or All Things Considered or Prairie Home Companion. But until I can direct my donation to my favorite shows or at least most of my money to that part of the station I really want to support, it's going to take a lot more to part me from my money.

Other charities, including the couple I've got listed on the side of this blog? Check them out on Charity Navigator. Heck, for a shocking look at how some charities are run, check out the Top Ten Lists. It's even worth pointing out that Charity Navigator's got a good list of how to be a good philanthropist, here.

Be smart with your money, especially these days.

"A Man Trained in the Art of Seduction . . ."

2008-10-06T20:13:00.002-05:00

Oh, yeah. It's my new favorite show. Really, with a quote like this, how can you NOT like this show? Yep, I missed the entire first season, but it's not really necessary, especially when NBC loads two minute reviews online of every episode.

(c) Warner Bros Television

Questions for All

2008-10-04T23:15:00.003-05:00

(March 27, 1999)

When we were born, we could not walk or talk or even focus our eyes. But the ability to do all these things and more was born in us. By continual effort, we still grow and learn and develop our identities.

We learned early that we were not a bird and not an animal. And this is where personality begins to question--then, what am I? Who am I? Why am I here?

Is this an identity crisis?

No. It is a belief crisis.

Peace,
Tawanka

It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2008-10-01T19:29:00.004-05:00

Took the video down; it was driving me nuts.

Watch it here.

iTunes is the Greatest

2008-09-28T14:29:00.003-05:00

But now, their great little invention is about to cost me a bunch of money, I can tell.

When you update iTunes to version 8, you're offered the opportunity to download Genius, which will automatically create playlists that play well together for you from your library. Grand.

That's not it, though. Those people at iTunes are smart and have Genius suggest songs which would go well with any song you're playing. For example, I played Enya's "How Can I Keep From Singing" (arguably my favorite hymn ever), and it suggested these fabulous additions.

Lullaby (with Ladysmith Black Mambazo); Josh Groban
The Andrew Lloyd Weber Collection, Sarah Brightman
Edge of the Ocean; Ivy
May it Be; Hayley Westenra & Conventus Choir
J'ai Deux Amours; Madeline Peyroux
Arms of a Woman; Amos Lee

So, perhaps I really just need to set aside some decent pocket change so I can have all the wonderful songs iTunes is suggesting now. *Sigh.*

Move On, Already!

2008-09-20T16:27:00.002-05:00

(March 22, 1999)

We grieve for the loss of things, or persons, ache for what we cannot do, but there is a day when the sun finally shines. We can make it.

Time heals more quickly when we decide to let it. It is written that any man can make a mistake, but none but a fool will continue in it.

This is a new day; live it fully.

Peace,
Tawanka

I Just Have to Agree With This

2008-09-17T20:20:00.004-05:00

From an email I've received (and subsequently checked against Wikipedia):

You are The Boss . . . which team would you hire?

With America facing historic debt, multiple war fronts, stumbling health care, a weakened dollar, all-time high prison population, skyrocketing Federal spending, mortgage crises, bank foreclosures, etc., etc., this is an unusually critical election year.

Let's look at the educational background of your two options:

Obama:
Occidental College - Two years.
Columbia University - B.A. political science with a specialization in
international relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude, where he was also selected as Editor of the Harvard Law Review

& Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in history and B.A. in political science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)

VS.

McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank 894 of 899

& Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism

Now, which team are you going to hire ?

Now, truthfully, these are all real people. Oddly enough, I'd bet there are people out there who think they can relate to Ms. Palin just because they also went to four colleges to be able to graduate after 4 and 1/2 years. (Makes me wonder how long it would have taken had she just stayed at one.)

And there are certainly lots of people who think they can relate to John McCain because he only has an undergraduate degree--and they didn't like math, either.

And, truth be told, Joe Biden wasn't stellar in his education, but he did pursue and achieve more education, at not-too-shabby institutions.

Really, people. We're electing the next president. We want someone who can speak well and correctly. Who knows the difference between exports, imports and how they affect the deficit. Who can at least understand that there are very intelligent people out there who can at least help them understand the hoohah that's happening in our financial markets right now (although, it'd be very helpful if they understood the difference between equity and debt, I can assure you).
We want someone who's actually got a thorough knowledge of U.S. law. We want someone who knows our history and who knows the ins and outs of not only international relations, but also domestic relations.

So, all that to say: make your choice wisely when you vote.

This Friday Night . . .

2008-09-17T20:20:00.002-05:00

More on the event of the year, put on by the DWSP.

Word of the Day

2008-09-13T09:49:00.002-05:00

Which is pretty good, for two days before the ides, seeing as how one of the best days of the year is the day before the ides (for me, at least):

auspicious \aw-SPISH-uhs\, adjective:
1. Giving promise of success, prosperity, or happiness; predicting good; as, "an auspicious beginning."
2. Prosperous; fortunate; as, "auspicious years."
(c) Dictionary.com

I'll take that as a good sign. ;)

NWS: Yes, This Blog is for Adults

2008-09-12T17:52:00.002-05:00

Today in my email, I find this:

The Value of Sex
Rather than more late nights at the office in search of that promotion, maybe all you really need is a little more sex. Researchers have found that regular sex is equivalent to a $50,000 annual pay raise in terms of life satisfaction, giving new meaning to the term benefits package. The average American has sex about once a week. Married people have more sex than the single or divorced, but everybody could stand to increase the frequency — especially if it makes you feel richer!
(c) Dr. Laura Berman

Amen, sister.

Forgiveness

2008-09-07T21:46:00.001-05:00

(March 21, 1999)

Forgiveness seems to be a necessity for so many things that are wrong. Forgiveness never degrades, but elevates, and is not to let someone else get away with something, but to free ourselves from entanglement.

It frees us from bitter resentment that can make us sick, and can help heal the sickness if it's already there.

Eventually, it makes us glad that we did not react, doing and saying things for which we would later be very sorry.

Peace,
Tawanka

Six? Only Six? Geez.

2008-09-05T20:29:00.003-05:00

Recently, Melody tagged me for this meme: list six unspectacular quirks. Makes me realize that my unspectacular quirks may not be quirks that I want to share with everyone, but then, they're unspectacular, so perhaps they're not that bad.

Here goes:
1) Even though I have summer robes, I don't grab for them first in the summer. I'm almost always cold - and I'm currently sitting in my fluffy winter robe. (Besides, it's so cozy, it's yummy.)

2) There are times when I cannot be bothered to put clothes away. At all. Like now. You should see the pile of clothes that needs to be put up that's on my bed right now. Luckily, I've got a guest bed, so I still get somewhere comfy to sleep, un-impeded by the mounds of laundry. (Hey, it's a good reminder that I've got more than enough clothes and it does sometimes keep me from shopping frivolously!)

3) I walk around outside barefoot a lot: in the yard; on the sidewalk; in the garden; on the back hill; on the porch; on the deck; down the street. It doesn't matter whether it's raining or not, but I definitely won't be out walking barefoot when it's snowing.

4) My collection of unread books might be more numerous than my collection of read books, but I'm convinced I'll read them all someday! If only I could not visit Border's or Ed McKay's or . . .

5) People who have at least a high school education should be able to correctly construct a sentence. Anyone who can't automatically loses, oh, 50 IQ points in my book (because then it's a choice and why would you choose to not correctly construct a sentence?).

6) I've got 20+ pieces of Texas Toast in my freezer. :)

Oh, How Cool

2008-09-03T21:21:00.002-05:00

So, Bookmarks is coming up (September 13, if you didn't know already), and I'm all sorts of thrilled about it. Jess and I kinda stumbled upon it last year and LOVED it. Made a number of people we know jealous that they didn't know about it. (Oh, and yeah, I added it to "Events I'm Attending" on Goodreads.)

Among the authors, the food, the activities, the workshops, the exhibitors, there's also this really, really cool news:

STORYCORPS will be at Bookmarks!

Now, how they're gonna pull that off, I'm not really sure. But among the NPR series that I love these days, StoryCorps is in the top 10. (Perhaps that will be tomorrow's blog post . . .) Maybe I'll interview mom. Or dad. Or both.

Ooh, and maybe we'll talk about Tawanka.

Is it Really September Already?!

2008-09-01T10:46:00.004-05:00

Ok, ok. Yes, it is September. I might be able to handle that.

I was going to write that life was starting to slow down (being done with tourney and almost done with the crisis situation at the office), but then I realize this is what's happening so far in September:
- Baby shower on the 6th
- My APR panel on September 9
- My baby sister's and my father's birthday on the 11th
- The big crisis conference that I'm planning, with four others
- Bridal shower on the 13th (Gotta RSVP and hit Sur La Table)
- Bookmarks on the 13th
- My birthday on the 14th (and some sort of planning for some sort of event)
- Winston book club on the 17th (The Red Leather Diary, Lily Koppel)
- Greensboro book club on the 21st (Water for Elephants, Sara Gruen)
- Hopefully, the end of the crisis situation I've been working on since March

OH! And Alli comes to town for a visit. Well, a stay. Five weeks of it (yeah!).

Busy September. But how's that any different from the rest of my life? ;)

Tawanka Found This Funny

2008-08-21T19:19:00.003-05:00

So do I. I'd seen it before, so it's not original nor can I attribute this to her, as I can for so many other things that she sent me while she was alive, but the email that comes next in the series doesn't apply right now. Guess that means someone reading this really needs to laugh, because this one's appropriate now.

Enjoy.
**************************************************************
(November 22, 1998)

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, Mom couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. She wondered if there was more going on than met the eye.

John told her, "I know what you must be thinking, Mom, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional."

A week later the housekeeper told John, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't think your mother took it, do you?"

So John sent a letter to his mother that read, "Dear Mother: I'm not saying you did take the gravy ladle, and I'm not saying you didn't, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother that said, "Dear Son: I'm not saying you sleep with your housekeeper, nor am I saying you don't. But the fact remains that if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Four Second Blog Post

2008-08-19T21:47:00.004-05:00

Still exhausted from tournament, but wanted to share this:

Yep, that's me and 2008 Wyndham Championship winner Carl Pettersson.
(No, the date's not correct at all and no, I'm not going to spend the time taking it off.)

But I'm Already Tired!

2008-08-07T22:00:00.002-05:00

So, the madness has begun for tourney and continues tomorrow evening with the Green Coat Club Reception. Luckily, the dress was in the mail when I got home and I was able to squeeze a pedicure in between work and the meeting at Natty's tonight.

All that to say: the craziness has begun, I've got A LOT left to do at the office before I leave, oh, and I need to turn in my paper for my boards on Tuesday. I'm thinking that there may be no feasible way to get it done.

Of course, had I worked on it instead of emailed and blogged for the last 30 minutes, I'd at least be 30 minutes closer to done.

Ahh, c'est la vie.

Here Fishy, Fishy

2008-08-06T21:23:00.000-05:00

It's been over 10 years since I learned how to fly fish, and I've not been nearly enough. But that might change soon.

Part of the reason I've not been nearly enough is that I haven't had waders to go fishing. It means I'm restricted to wading in ice cold mountain streams in jeans and sneakers(not fun). I've off and on seriously thought about just laying out the money to get, well, almost everything except a handful of flies, my rod and my reel. However, if you know anything at all about fly fishing, you know it's (a) beautiful to watch and (b) it's *&^% expensive.

So, now I have waders. I got them Friday evening. And they're probably not the best in the world, but for $20, given the amount of fishing I'm doing these days, I don't feel like I've just sunk way too much money into this hobby.

Trout are fickle little buggers, you see, and fly fishing just takes that challenge to an even higher level. We don't cheat like the spin fishers. We don't tempt our fish with stuff they wouldn't eat in the wild, like corn or baloney or worms. Nope. Fly fishers like a challenge.

Our challenge is to convince a very intelligent fish (as fishes go) to eat something that LOOKS like something they might normally eat. It has to move the way it normally would; it has to fall in places it normally would. It has to sink and float the way a bug normally would.

I mean, really: would you believe that this caddis fly:

Is the same thing as this caddis?

No?

Well, this brown trout did:

Imagery and Sybolism

2008-08-05T21:42:00.004-05:00

Imagery and symbolism is on my mind these days, as I have to admit that I'm considering another tattoo. I've thought for years about getting another, but had to answer two questions before that could happen: "Where?" and "What?"

I've recently been able to answer the last of those two questions, with the help of an artist on Etsy, and the second one will involve quite a few symbols. Aside from being thrilled that I'd finally found the 'base' of my second (because I feel it represents a lot about who I am now), I decided to look into the symbolism of those images in both my current and my future tattoo.

I did and here's what I've found out (courtesy of VanishingTattoo.com):

Star: As a light shining in the darkness, the star is often considered a symbol of truth, of the spirit and of hope. The symbol of the star embodies the concept of the divine spark within each of us. Their nocturnal nature leads stars to represent the struggle against the forces of darkness and the unknown.

Turtle: The spirit of the turtle is one of protection, healing and inner knowledge. The Turtle is considered by some Indigenous North Americans to be one of their the oldest, most sacred symbols. They believed that North America was created on the back of a turtle. Turtle is also courageous because it makes progress only when it sticks its neck out, and moves forward with patient, steady flow in order to achieve the desired results.

Mermaid: Mermaids are a symbol of subtle feminine power and mystery. The long flowing hair of the Mermaid (symbolizing an abundant love potential) can also be seen in the representations of the Goddesses Aphrodite and Venus. Mermaid symbolism includes: beauty, elusiveness, mystery, allure, privacy, persuasiveness, sensuality, and love. The song of the Sirens (also mermaids) call men to abandon themselves, to transform, to die to self and emerge into a new form with new knowledge and understanding.

Heart: The heart is the eternal symbol of love, romance, and the very life force within all of humankind. Getting to the "heart of the matter" suggests that the heart rules the source of truth and love.

Crown: The crown has long been used as a symbol of royal power and authority. The crown is a visible badge of office, granting the wearer the absolute right to rule. That authority to rule was often held to be divinely inspired. As a symbol, the crown also symbolizes leadership, and the rightful authority which comes from being elected by a group to serve as their leader. It symbolizes an individual's sovereignty over their own life, feelings, thoughts, and actions. The crown symbolizes self-control, and is a reminder to use power and authority wisely and justly.

After finding that information, it's pretty obvious to me why I decided on that design. If you know me at all, I'm pretty sure you'd agree.

Saturday Evening Peace

2008-08-03T20:16:00.003-05:00

. . . during my very impromptu trip to Topsail Island, NC.

This is Not The Post I Want to Write

2008-08-01T21:18:00.002-05:00

But I've determined that what I want to write should not be written here. So, on that note . . .
********************************************************************************
(March 20, 1999)

Someone said the test of courage is not to give up but to rise up and take command of our moods. When talking to someone we trust doesn't ease the stress, then writing it down can make a world of difference.

Writing to ourselves can bring out many causes of sadness or anger that we didn't know we were harboring. A daily journal has been the source of help in learning what we have hidden away unconsciously, only to come out and whip us at the most unlikely times. It is a way of "cleaning house" and making corrections in the privacy of our own minds without having to tell the world.

Do not hurt your neighbor, for it is not him you wrong, but yourself.

Peace,
Tawanka

The Madness Begins

2008-07-28T21:58:00.005-05:00

(c) Randy Harris, http://ggoblogger.blogspot.com/
Donald Ross, Sedgefield Country Club's original designer, overlooking the 18th green

Just in case you're somehow not aware and you're a resident of this great area called the Piedmont Triad, the Wyndham Championship is in, oh, less than 2 weeks.

What always seems like an insurmountable task has begun in earnest: preparing the course for the event. For me and my team, that meant we cleaned plastic fence on Saturday morning. 6 pallets of 25 piece fence. Four-ish hours. Lots of bleach and water. Dirty, dirty fence became very clean fence. The plastic fence team rocks, if I do say so myself. Wanna see? Visit the GGO Blog.

So, here's the plug, because I want it to do well. Buy your tickets. We've got some sort of deal at the Teeter these days. We're gonna have good players. We've got a beautiful course. We've got some of the best volunteers and staff ever.

It's a great experience. Don't miss it.

It's Your Future

2008-07-27T18:23:00.002-05:00

(March 19, 1999)

Last autumn's leaves have been dislodged from their wintering places to race north with the wind from the south--only to be turned and blown south again. They drift and dance on end, twirling and falling into piles to disintegrate in spring rains.

Drifting with the wind is not a habit of nature alone. People with no goals, no aims, drift from one place to another in hopes that fate will put them in the right place at the right time. If decisions are not made and goals are not set, the world will make them for us.

(Makes you wonder about some people we all know?)

Peace,
Tawanka
***********************************************************************
I'm quite surprised at what I'm perceiving as the snarkiness I see in that last line . . .

Last LOL and an RIP

2008-07-26T22:39:00.004-05:00

more cat pictures

*********************************************************************
Rest in Peace, Randy Pausch.
Thanks for teaching me that a wall isn't the end,
how to correctly apologize,
reminding me that people will surprise and impress you if you wait long enough
and for making me laugh.

(My earlier post about Randy; Randy's lecture at Carnegie Mellon is below.)

It's Always the Young 'Uns

2008-07-25T20:20:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

The Dress . . .

2008-07-24T22:17:00.005-05:00

on eBay that I'm seriously considering for one of the tourney parties:

And lest you feel like you've not laughed enough today, here's today's cat. (Promise you'll miss them come Sunday.)

more cat pictures

Why You Should Never WASH a Cat

2008-07-23T20:38:00.001-05:00

(Psst . . . just in case you hadn't realized, I decided to make it LOLcats week. It's fun. And it's easy.)

more cat pictures

Today's LOL: Tourney Appropos

2008-07-22T21:44:00.000-05:00

more cat pictures

Awww . . .

2008-07-21T22:29:00.002-05:00

more cat pictures

Forsyth County Humane Society - Forsyth County Animal Contro l
AARF - Guilford County Animal Shelter

Today's Favorite LOLcat

2008-07-19T12:38:00.001-05:00

more LOLcat pictures

Our Role in Healing Others

2008-07-16T21:12:00.002-05:00

[March 18, 1999 - While sitting here watching the Bulldogs of Gonzaga play Florida, thought I would put out the thought of the day. (Go Zags!)]

Other people have so much happen in their lives before we get to know them that we don't know how to meet their needs. If they have been hurt, they may box themselves in and our reach isn't long enough. But we cannot go back and make up for what someone else has done.

All of us come to the present time with some memories, some experiences that have affected us negatively. It would be hard to live in a world of hurt and not be touched by it. But we know that change can take place suddenly to heal life.

When we seek, we find. And it may be by helping others.

Peace,
Tawanka

Swoon

2008-07-15T21:08:00.004-05:00

"The most precious thing a man can have is a woman's heart."

Or this:

" . . . a woman who is creative and dares to see all the wondrous facets of reality and experience - someone who can take care of herself regardless of a man's presence but will also surrender to love when it comes knocking on her door . . ."

*Sigh.* This is just NOT GOOD for my princess paradigm, but fabulous fodder for fantasies. ;) While it's a sure thing that I need reality to come kick my sorry butt, I'm not wishing for it's arrival, at all.

My Top Wines . . .

2008-07-14T20:39:00.002-05:00

And wines you probably ought to try, as well. I found these at the Fleming's Prime Steakhouse and Wine Bar Top 100 tasting last year. I just found my notes on them, and here are the best (or at least the best, as I considered them, sometime late in 2007).

Ronchi Di Manzano, Merlot Colli Orientali del Friuli, Italy, 2004
Clos Mimi, Syrah; Paso Robles Petite Rousse, 2004
Beaucanon Estate, Cabernet Franc; Napa Valley, 2002
Schramsberg, Mirabelle Brut; North Coast, NV
Greg Norman, Cabernet Merlot; Limestone Coast, Australia, 2004
Raylen, Category 5; Yadkin Valley, 2005
Zilliken, Riesling Mosel-Saar-Ruwer; Butterfly, Germany, 2005
Frei Brothers, Chardonnay; Sonoma County, 2005
Estancia, Pinot Noir; Santa Lucia Highlands, Stonewall Vineyard, 2004
L'ecole #41, Semillon; Columbia Valley, 2005
Qupe, Syrah; Central Coast, 2005
Spellbound, Petit Sirah; California, 2005

A votre sante!

Might I Say . . .

2008-07-13T19:28:00.002-05:00

that Match is just good for your self-esteem? Really it is. That's all I have to say. At least, that's it for the blog.

Otherwise, I'm realizing that I really have no time for such these days. Between the APR studying, Wyndham, the PRSA Professional Development Seminar (anyone care to be a sponsor? Hmmm?) and the crisis project I'm managing at work, I really have no time for such.

But it's fun. It really is.

The Persistent Curse of Guilt

2008-07-09T22:50:00.003-05:00

(March 17, 1999)

Remembering is painful at times. It's easy to relive what did happen and what did not happen . . . and we try to take all the blame. We know what guilt is. Why didn't we do a better job, pay more attention, or follow a hunch? Few of us can look back and delight in memories of times past.

Would we have done things differently if we knew then what we know now? Maybe.

The best thing we can do for ourself is to forgive. Forgiving heals. It clears the way for time . . . time to build and love, renew and restore. It is a time of grace when we have done nothing to deserve it.

Peace,
Tawanka

P.S. Happy St. Patty's day!!!!!!

If the Radio Didn't Prove Me Wrong

2008-07-08T22:21:00.004-05:00

I've got a theory: that a specific song, like books and other reading material, comes to you when you need it most. Unfortunately, the radio proves that theory wrong--or at least not accurate--fairly often for me. So, while I'm revising this theory trying to improve it's validity, I'll be listening to Andrew Peterson's Faith to Be Strong, which is resonating with me today:

Give us faith to be strong
Father, we are so weak
Our bodies are fragile and weary
As we stagger and stumble to walk where you lead
Give us faith to be strong

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us peace when we're torn
Mend us up when we break
This flesh can be wounded and shaking
When there's much too much trouble for one heart to take
Give us peace when we're torn

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong

Give us hearts to find hope
Father, we cannot see
How the sorrow we feel can bring freedom
And as hard as we try, Lord, it's hard to believe
So, give us hearts to find hope

Give us faith to be strong
Give us strength to be faithful
This life is not long, but it's hard
Give us grace to go on
Make us willing and able
Lord, give us faith to be strong
Give us peace when we're torn
Give us faith, faith to be strong
(c) Andrew Peterson

Fireworks, Baseball, Cookouts

2008-07-04T11:22:00.002-05:00

It's late. Well, late in that it's almost 12:30 and I'm still in my pajamas, drinking my coffee. But that's the beauty of a holiday and I have no real reason to be mobile and cognizant earlier than I want these days, so why should I?

In any case, it's about time to wander down the park and be a little sociable. My neighborhood does a free cook-out every year and invites everyone to come down. Pretty cool. Good food. Chance to chat with the people you see out in their yards while you're walking, too.

Later, I'll be grilling the bounty that I brought back from the Farmer's Market yesterday: zuchinni, squash, tomatoes, potatoes, mushrooms, corn. Good stuff. I think we'll have hot dogs, too.

Fireworks and baseball last night; probably more fireworks and baseball tonight. And, because it's summer, darn it, I might finally get to the pool this weekend.

Happy July 4th!

HAHAHA

2008-07-01T22:17:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I had the great pleasure of realizing that God has a wonderful sense of humor. I laughed (and when I say laughed, I mean laughed-so-hard-I-snorted-sometimes) on my way home.

All the way home. From North High Point. A good 20+ minutes. Longer, really, when you realize I was driving just below the speed limit with the top down on the Miata.

To the point where I thought I was having just too much fun. But there's no such thing. ;)

Weird Stuff You Didn't Know You Wanted to Know About Me

2008-06-30T20:59:00.004-05:00

You had no idea you wanted to know, did you?

1. What is your occupation right now? Account Executive
2. What color are your socks right now? What socks?
3. What are you listening to right now? The hum of the chiller pad underneath the laptop and Gypsy playing with her string toys.
4. What was the last thing that you ate? Roast chicken and mixed vegetables
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yep.
6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Dad
7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes
8. How old are you today? Younger than I've felt in months.
9. What happened to number 9? It went to go visit Oscar the Grouch on Sesame Street and got mistaken for a cookie.
10. What is your favorite drink? It's a toss-up: Italian flip martini, oreo milkshake or a half-caf vanilla latte.
11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yep, just not necessarily a color that would make you think it was dyed.
12. Favorite food? You mean right this second? Hmmm. Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy. Later, it might be something else.
13. What is the last movie you watched? The Return of Zorro
14. Favorite holiday? Christmas
15. How do you vent anger? I cuss. Like a sailor. Loudly. Or frown and stalk off.
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? We had toys? Really? Seriously, I don't know the answer to this one.
17. What is your favorite season? SUMMER!
18. Cherries or Blueberries? Cherries
19. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Nope. I want them to reply to the tag I put on their blog and respond to the meme.
20. Who is the most likely to respond? Alli
21. Who is least likely to respond? Perhaps this question should be least likely to be the first to respond . . .
22. Living arrangements? A fab little craftsman with the world's best deck with a hot tub in a historic neighborhood that's not stuffy at all.
23. When was the last time you cried? When I woke up crying during the wee hours last Monday morning
25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to? Jess ;)
26. What did you do last night? Cook jambalya and watch too much television. (For a girl who basically canceled her cable, that's quite a feat.)
27. What inspires you? Art; beauty; challenge; faith; friends; profundity.
28. What are you most afraid of? Snakes. The drain at the bottom of the pool, especially if it's painted black. (If you remember that I spent 5 years as a lifeguard at the city pools and that I LOVE to swim, this is pretty ironic.)
29. Plain cheese or spicy hamburgers? What?
30. Favorite dog breed? Siberian Husky or Greyhound or Border Collie.
31. Favorite day of the week? Friday (even though I normally work late on Fridays)
32. How many states have you lived in? 2
33. Last book you read? My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picoult

Yummy

2008-06-27T23:04:00.004-05:00

I love me some Antonio Banderas.

Especially opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Especially when I wouldn't mind being Catherine, at all.

Oh, and since I did decide to watch The Mask of Zorro tonight, really, could they have made Catherine any more sexy while she is SWORD FIGHTING IN A STABLE????

Sometime tomorrow, I'll get my next Antonio fix. I've got The Legend of Zorro, too.

Money, Money, Money

2008-06-26T20:13:00.003-05:00

So, Jess introduced me to this fabulous little tool back in November which tracks your Networth. You don't enter account numbers or anything; you just list your account positions and it tracks them over time for you. All that to say, I just finished my June update (I hadn't done one since December '07) and I'm glad to say my net worth is now positive. Yeah! 'Course, that's mainly because my house value went up, my car value (odd, I know) went up, and my retirement went up (some). Up is definitely a good direction.

Here's the site, in case you're interested.

And no, my profile isn't public. Sorry.

The Goodwill Ambassador of Dogs

2008-06-23T19:54:00.008-05:00

Quissu, which is Catalonian for "puppy," wasn't the first pet that I've had die during my lifetime, but she was my first dog. Being part of a "cat family" I grew up quite afraid of dogs. I'd been knocked over by an overzealous dog when I was much younger and it scared me quite a bit. Dogs were not a part of my growing up experience - and I was happy to keep it that way.

In 1999, I met Quissu. While she was a very energetic dog, an 8-year-old black Siberian Husky with beautiful blue eyes, she was also the "goodwill ambassador of dogs"--a rarity for huskies, I now know. She charmed me with the way she'd kiss you or the way she behaved with the cat. She made me laugh with her quizzical expressions and her boundless energy to chase squirrels--that she could never catch. She could shift her eyebrows and work her "puppy dog eyes" like none other.

And she didn't just have that effect on me. My entire "cat family" soon came to know and love Quissu as well. Although she was mischievous (she once got "arrested" by the city police for being in the park a half-mile from my house exploring all by herself and meeting new people after jumping over the fence), she won all of our hearts.

Unfortunately, as she grew older, the genetics of being a pure-bred dog caught up with her. She developed a localized cancer on her front left paw that kept returning. After having the tumor removed four times, at the suggestion of the vet I finally had her leg amputated. At 13, she had to learn how to walk all over again, with only three legs. She did quite well, although I had to buy a number of throw rugs for the house as she now slid around on my hardwood floors.

As she aged, her health began to deteriorate even faster. Late last year, she developed idiopathic old dog vestibular disease: basically, she was dizzy and the vets didn't know why. She couldn't stand because she couldn't figure out which way was up. Luckily, it turned out to be short-term as it lasted only a week.

Quissu just died about a month ago. While it was definitely expected, I hadn't realized how much she meant to me.

Quissu's ashes are now buried under a St. Francis of Assisi statue in my backyard. It carries on my family's tradition: we've always asked St. Francis to look over our animals, even after their death.

My friends, family and especially my vet - Abri Veterinary Hospital - were all very helpful to me. My mother left work to come be with me for a while and cried with me. My father helped me take Quissu's body to the vet for cremation. My vet encouraged me to cry when I called; I hadn't known what to do with her body. "We've got all the time in the world, honey. Take your time," they said.

I received cards from my family and my sister came into town to stay with me. She helped me decide what to do with Quissu's stuff and how to share the news with someone who loved her deeply. I also received a very special card from the vet: because of Quissu's illness over the years, their staff had all come to know her quite well. The entire staff had signed the card, complete with kind memories of Quissu in it.

Dear Quissu, rest in peace. Yours was a long, wonderful life filled with love and joy. I know you're now being the Goodwill Ambassador of Dogs to all the angels now. And chasing squirrels that you just can't catch.
Love always, me & Gypsy

My New Mantra

2008-06-22T15:54:00.000-05:00

"Being a part of my life is a privelege - not a burden."

The Blessing of Patience

2008-06-18T21:13:00.003-05:00

March 16, 1999

Nothing is so set that it will never change. We should never give in to challenges that throw us off center.

Wait a while. Something may be working that we don't know about.

Don't accept everything as it appears. It can change in a minute and swing our way.

Some of our best decisions are based on standing still until we can get the big picture. When life is easy, complex patterns of life can develop.

Peace,
Tawanka