Men's Rules for What Not to Do on Match

Match is fun. It really is. If nothing else, as I've mentioned before, it's great for the ego. But I've come to discover a lot of things guys shouldn't do. Now, should any guy on Match (or some other half-way reputable dating site) find this, I feel it my duty to share the below rules for what not to do on Match.

1. Do not say, "I know you," unless you really do. Then, if you really do, stop being a freak and actually talk to the gal in real life. If you don't, you're just proving how completely ignorant you are and how highly you think of us women.
   
2. If you're much, much older than my preferred age range--like old-enough-to-be-my-father older--that's not cool. That's not cute. That's creepy. And desperate. And so completely transparent.
3. If you write an email, at least make an effort! You're trying to impress someone on the other side, and dear heavens, if it's me, you lose major points for writing "u" instead of "you" or thinking "a lot" is one word instead of two or for proving that your high school was incorrect in recommending you for graduation because of your severe lack of basic understanding of third-grade English grammar.
4. Don't say something like, "I thought I'd try this." It's like admitting defeat and that all the other women you've ever met and dated (or tried to date) didn't have anything good to say about you. To anyone. Ever. Please, for all of us, grow a pair and don't think that your life sucks because you're on an on-line dating site. You're not admitting defeat; you're pursuing an additional opportunity.
   
5. The profile is there for a reason. Please, fill it out. If we wanted to know nothing about you, we would stare at you from across a crowded coffee shop and do absolutely nothing. Instead, we clicked. If we're interested enough to look at your entire profile, give us at least something to learn about when we get there.
6. Do not give backhanded compliments like: "I love how you don't waste the space above you're shoulders." (Yep, that's a genuine comment off of Match, grammatical errors and all.)
7. Do not send a bold-faced booty call message like this: "Let me be honest . . . I'm not looking for a relationship but . . . I'm a very fun guy and you won't be disappointed." That's repulsive. If you want that, try some other site like Adult Friend Finder. Or Craigslist.
   
8. Balance the ego with modesty. Yes, you should tell us about the good stuff, but don't puff your chest too much. If you do, it means you have no room to care about anyone else in your life.
9. Post a photo. Or 12. A head shot's great, but it's amazing what you don't see in a head shot that you wish you'd known about. Attraction online doesn't always start with a photo, but it's still a big part of it.
10. Get someone who knows you well to see whether you actually match what your profile says. This game doesn't get any easier online; in some respects, it gets harder. Wouldn't it be better if you didn't waste your time and money with someone who thought you were something else entirely, by eliminating that chance at the beginning?