It's cliched, trite and overused, this phrase. It's been the title of a popular book by Norman Vincent Peale. And it's true.
In the June 2011 newsletter from the Center for Creative Leadership, there's an article entitled, "You Are What You Think You Are."It does a great job of reinforcing this truism and clearly pointing out ways to combat negative thoughts.
One thing this article reminded me about was the need to have a mantra, to literally tell yourself over and over and over and over again one particular thing that is essential for you believe about yourself. For me, that mantra is "Strong. Intelligent. Beautiful." I've tried to make it a part of my personal brand.
Personal branding, I think, comes straight from understanding the concept of positive self-talk. Personal branding, in it's most basic form, is perhaps the intersection of the best understanding of yourself and how you want to be perceived by others. It's the place where self-esteem is permitted, nay, encouraged to grow.
At the beginning of personal branding, you have your benchmark. Continually participating in positive self-talk can and will help move you from your benchmark and in the direction of your ultimate personal brand.
How do you practice the power of positive thinking? Have you considered how this can work for you in relation to your personal brand?
Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label focus. Show all posts
7.17.2011
4.04.2008
Thoughts on Millions
I recently found a place where you can submit a question and other people vote to give answers. It's a great tool, and given the book about the million-dollar friendship that I'm writing, I wanted to find out exactly how many people decided for the friend or the million. So, I submitted this question: "If you had to choose between the following, which would you choose? You can't have both. $1MM or your best friend."
Of 80 potential answers, I got over 30 responses which is a great response rate (39%; typical response rates are under 10%. No, I've not run the tests to see if this is a statistically valid sample; I'd bet good money that it's not.).
Ergo:
Number of people who would choose the friendship: 16
Number of people who would choose the money: 13
And some comments:
- "The cash (in the hottest of seconds)."
- "What kind of person would give up a friend for $$?"
- "A fool and his money are soon parted."
- "A million dollars buys a lot of friends."
And here's my response to that: wow, really? I wonder if I fielded something like this in another culture (Belize, maybe?) whether the response variation would be similar or different. Or if a bigger sample would yield a clear winner over the other.
And then I think: For those who would choose the money, would less than $1MM do? What about $500K? Or $100K? Or just $50K? At what price does the threshold become too low and the friendship is suddenly more valuable than the money?
What would it say about you if your friends knew that your friendship could be bought for $213,987.68? A penny less, and you'd say no.
And for those of us, like me, who wouldn't give up a friendship for money - at least theoretically (I'd much prefer never to have to test this theory) - what would make us give up a friendship? What's acceptable? What's not? And who, pray tell, gets to make that decision?
Lest I get on my soapbox, it's perhaps a good time to say that Tawanka had some great thoughts about the worth of life that I posted recently.
Amen.
Of 80 potential answers, I got over 30 responses which is a great response rate (39%; typical response rates are under 10%. No, I've not run the tests to see if this is a statistically valid sample; I'd bet good money that it's not.).
Ergo:
Number of people who would choose the friendship: 16
Number of people who would choose the money: 13
And some comments:
- "The cash (in the hottest of seconds)."
- "What kind of person would give up a friend for $$?"
- "A fool and his money are soon parted."
- "A million dollars buys a lot of friends."
And here's my response to that: wow, really? I wonder if I fielded something like this in another culture (Belize, maybe?) whether the response variation would be similar or different. Or if a bigger sample would yield a clear winner over the other.
And then I think: For those who would choose the money, would less than $1MM do? What about $500K? Or $100K? Or just $50K? At what price does the threshold become too low and the friendship is suddenly more valuable than the money?
What would it say about you if your friends knew that your friendship could be bought for $213,987.68? A penny less, and you'd say no.
And for those of us, like me, who wouldn't give up a friendship for money - at least theoretically (I'd much prefer never to have to test this theory) - what would make us give up a friendship? What's acceptable? What's not? And who, pray tell, gets to make that decision?
Lest I get on my soapbox, it's perhaps a good time to say that Tawanka had some great thoughts about the worth of life that I posted recently.
Amen.
3.28.2008
Anything is Possible
Yesterday, someone at work posted this video of Randy Pausch on the intranet. It's a shorter version of his hour-long "Last Lecture," that he gave at Carnegie Mellon in September 2007. (Here's the link for the hour-long one.)
He's dying of incurable pancreatic cancer. The amazing part is that this is about how to live, not how to die.
It's all about focus . . . and I'm glad that I'm a Tigger.
He's dying of incurable pancreatic cancer. The amazing part is that this is about how to live, not how to die.
It's all about focus . . . and I'm glad that I'm a Tigger.
3.23.2008
Poignancy
I am, it seems, hounded by poignancy these days. While I don't find meaning in everything (there's not meaning in everything, even if the author/creator wanted to instill meaning in that creation), it seems to jump out at me at times when I'm not expecting it.
Like now. My brain's fuzzy from napping on the couch with the cat. I walked into the library to shut off the computer, but decided to check my email one last time, and I get caught up in links. My simple five minutes on the computer has easily turned into 25.
But it's been worth it, especially after I was called out/pinned down/targeted by this gem: "Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one." About which I think, among other things, fuzzy brain and all, "I was, wasn't I?"
And this one: "Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world." Wow - and that's a wow based upon my understanding of a lifetime of fault-filled love from those around me - that's usually pretty good. I can only guess at how much better that is when you make it a perfect, divine love. (Read more here.)
It reminds me of this quote from a great little book a dear friend gave me: "Imagine the universe beautiful and just and perfect, Then be sure of one thing: the Is imagined it quite a bit better than you have."
I'm thinking that finding stuff like this on The Happiness Project every time I stop in these days means I'm gonna have to add it to the Reader and the Blog Roll. But the time will be worth it.
Like now. My brain's fuzzy from napping on the couch with the cat. I walked into the library to shut off the computer, but decided to check my email one last time, and I get caught up in links. My simple five minutes on the computer has easily turned into 25.
But it's been worth it, especially after I was called out/pinned down/targeted by this gem: "Only for today, I will be happy in the certainty that I was created to be happy, not only in the other world but also in this one." About which I think, among other things, fuzzy brain and all, "I was, wasn't I?"
And this one: "Only for today, I will firmly believe, despite appearances, that the good Providence of God cares for me as no one else who exists in this world." Wow - and that's a wow based upon my understanding of a lifetime of fault-filled love from those around me - that's usually pretty good. I can only guess at how much better that is when you make it a perfect, divine love. (Read more here.)
It reminds me of this quote from a great little book a dear friend gave me: "Imagine the universe beautiful and just and perfect, Then be sure of one thing: the Is imagined it quite a bit better than you have."
I'm thinking that finding stuff like this on The Happiness Project every time I stop in these days means I'm gonna have to add it to the Reader and the Blog Roll. But the time will be worth it.
1.01.2008
2007 Round-Up (a.k.a., Did Liz Meet her Goals?)
Back in February of 2007, (yes, I got a late start), I published some of my goals for 2007 on the blog. You can read those here. Alas, when you pursue such an endeavor, you actually have to reevaluate whether you reached some of those goals. It's not always a fun thing to do, but nonetheless, needs to be done.
So, did I? Hmm, let's see.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots. Done. Well, kind of. I know HOW to play golf; I did take lessons, but I didn't play.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.) Nope.
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008. Done! The girls and I are going to the wonderful world of Belize this spring! Yeah!
4) Make a difficult decision. Done. Done! DONE! (Well, soon enough, at least. Can't hurry the law.)
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year. Hmm, corner table stack is gone, but I've got a library now with real bookcases. I might have just shifted the stack. I'm not really sure. But I have read more books than I did last year. (I wasn't in grad school this year like I was last year, you see.)
6) Have more fun. More than when? How much more? What counts as "more?" (Note that this goal is horribly written; you should always make goals measurable. My strategy professors at UNCG would have a fit.)
However, given the events of this year, I think I had enough fun. Dancing for my birthday, out to L.A. to see my sister's wedding, random trips to Charleston, SC, for the weekend, girls trip to Wilmington, last week's sleepover with the girls (who says you can't have a sleepover when you're 30?!), etc. I think I could always use more, though.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.) Some, yes. Others, no. Again, you don't get detail on this unless I've already shared it with you. Sorry.
8) Get more massages. I must not have been thinking very well when I wrote this list. Again with the "more" issue. I think I did meet that goal, though; I can think of at least four that I've had this year, and surely that's more than I had last year. I seriously, seriously considered buying one of those massage packages from Kneaded Energy. Might still do it.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here. Done! And since I'm posting Grandma's thoughts when the feeling moves me, and there are 36 more, you'll get the blessing of seeing a new set this year.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share. *Sigh.* More than what? And perhaps more appropriately, more?! I give a lot. I do. Most of the time, it's without want for anything in return. But, I did perhaps achieve this goal and because it feels boastful to say why I think that, I won't.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.) Hmm, do the first six months average out to the entire year as "fairly regular?" I'm thinking probably not. I've not had a decent workout in a long time. Yes, it's my own fault. Yes, I could be saving that money I'm sending to the YMCA. Yes, I have fantasies that I might get back into a "fairly regular" workout routine.
Maybe I'll start today. Oh wait. I already did. Walked a 5K at midnight this morning. January 1, 2008 - DONE! Now, onto January 2 . . .
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it. Done! Not so much on the affordable part, but done nonetheless! Now, if I can just find a reason to wear it again . . .
Oh, and I:
- Wrote a book
- Bought a house
- Found two great jobs
- Was asked to sit on another board
- Made some really great friends
- Bought art that I love
- Learned how to get the leaf blower to start
- Learned how to wipe a hard drive
- Know what makes me happy
- Sent my Christmas Cards before Christmas
- Had a couple of parties
- Watched two seasons of Gilmore Girls
- Had green grass for a few weeks (really, the kind you want to take pictures of, because you just can't believe it)
- and . . .
2007 wasn't all that bad of a year for me, it seems. Not one of my best, but certainly one that has special meaning for me nonetheless. I can only imagine that 2008 will be much better. Really, I can't have two years like '07 in a row.
So, come on, world! I'm ready to have a wonderful, fabulous, terrific year! Bring it on!
So, did I? Hmm, let's see.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots. Done. Well, kind of. I know HOW to play golf; I did take lessons, but I didn't play.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.) Nope.
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008. Done! The girls and I are going to the wonderful world of Belize this spring! Yeah!
4) Make a difficult decision. Done. Done! DONE! (Well, soon enough, at least. Can't hurry the law.)
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year. Hmm, corner table stack is gone, but I've got a library now with real bookcases. I might have just shifted the stack. I'm not really sure. But I have read more books than I did last year. (I wasn't in grad school this year like I was last year, you see.)
6) Have more fun. More than when? How much more? What counts as "more?" (Note that this goal is horribly written; you should always make goals measurable. My strategy professors at UNCG would have a fit.)
However, given the events of this year, I think I had enough fun. Dancing for my birthday, out to L.A. to see my sister's wedding, random trips to Charleston, SC, for the weekend, girls trip to Wilmington, last week's sleepover with the girls (who says you can't have a sleepover when you're 30?!), etc. I think I could always use more, though.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.) Some, yes. Others, no. Again, you don't get detail on this unless I've already shared it with you. Sorry.
8) Get more massages. I must not have been thinking very well when I wrote this list. Again with the "more" issue. I think I did meet that goal, though; I can think of at least four that I've had this year, and surely that's more than I had last year. I seriously, seriously considered buying one of those massage packages from Kneaded Energy. Might still do it.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here. Done! And since I'm posting Grandma's thoughts when the feeling moves me, and there are 36 more, you'll get the blessing of seeing a new set this year.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share. *Sigh.* More than what? And perhaps more appropriately, more?! I give a lot. I do. Most of the time, it's without want for anything in return. But, I did perhaps achieve this goal and because it feels boastful to say why I think that, I won't.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.) Hmm, do the first six months average out to the entire year as "fairly regular?" I'm thinking probably not. I've not had a decent workout in a long time. Yes, it's my own fault. Yes, I could be saving that money I'm sending to the YMCA. Yes, I have fantasies that I might get back into a "fairly regular" workout routine.
Maybe I'll start today. Oh wait. I already did. Walked a 5K at midnight this morning. January 1, 2008 - DONE! Now, onto January 2 . . .
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it. Done! Not so much on the affordable part, but done nonetheless! Now, if I can just find a reason to wear it again . . .
Oh, and I:
- Wrote a book
- Bought a house
- Found two great jobs
- Was asked to sit on another board
- Made some really great friends
- Bought art that I love
- Learned how to get the leaf blower to start
- Learned how to wipe a hard drive
- Know what makes me happy
- Sent my Christmas Cards before Christmas
- Had a couple of parties
- Watched two seasons of Gilmore Girls
- Had green grass for a few weeks (really, the kind you want to take pictures of, because you just can't believe it)
- and . . .
2007 wasn't all that bad of a year for me, it seems. Not one of my best, but certainly one that has special meaning for me nonetheless. I can only imagine that 2008 will be much better. Really, I can't have two years like '07 in a row.
So, come on, world! I'm ready to have a wonderful, fabulous, terrific year! Bring it on!
7.24.2007
Where does the time go?
Why is it that I hit upon the realization today that in about a week, it's AUGUST?
It's not so much that tournament is in August. I'm well aware of that and I know it's been charging at me with full force ever since I agreed to do it before last year's tournament had even begun. It's not that.
It's that I'm trying to figure out where my summer went. Why haven't I found my way to Carowinds yet? Or Emerald Pointe? Wasn't this the summer that I was actually going to go to the Bowman Gray track? Why hasn't Jimmy Buffet announced a concert here yet? Why is Dave Matthews coming so late - in September? Why haven't I been to the beach more often? Or to the mountains at all?
I'm sure this has something to do with the fact that I realized the days are getting shorter. When the alarm went off this morning, the second thought I had (after the obligatory curses of the clock) was this: "The sun's not streaming through my window this morning."
I'm also sure that it has something to do with the fact that it was a bit overcast today, and I have to admit that I'm probably susceptible to SAD, like my aunt is. I hate gloomy, overcast, dreary, yucky weather. Makes me feel like crap.
There's always a disconnect for me between the solstices and when they actually "happen" for me: I don't feel the days getting shorter or longer right after the solstice. Heck, this year, I didn't feel the change until damn near August, and the summer solstice is June 21.
Realizing that the summer solstice has actually passed upsets me. I'm a summer girl at heart. Always have been. Love the heat. Love the humidity.
Love what you can do in summer that just doesn't happen in the fall, winter or spring: like eat a really good, fresh, ripe tomato that you just pulled off of the plant 30 seconds ago. Or entertain that fantasy of skinny dipping - and maybe, just maybe, if the timing was right, do it. Or drink Coronas whenever you want because it just feels right. Or go to see the Grasshoppers or the Warthogs. Or go to Music in the Streets. Or stay up late, because your body thinks that 9:30 p.m. or 10 p.m. is too early. "Wasn't it just light a little bit ago?" it asks.
*Sigh.*
It's not so much that tournament is in August. I'm well aware of that and I know it's been charging at me with full force ever since I agreed to do it before last year's tournament had even begun. It's not that.
It's that I'm trying to figure out where my summer went. Why haven't I found my way to Carowinds yet? Or Emerald Pointe? Wasn't this the summer that I was actually going to go to the Bowman Gray track? Why hasn't Jimmy Buffet announced a concert here yet? Why is Dave Matthews coming so late - in September? Why haven't I been to the beach more often? Or to the mountains at all?
I'm sure this has something to do with the fact that I realized the days are getting shorter. When the alarm went off this morning, the second thought I had (after the obligatory curses of the clock) was this: "The sun's not streaming through my window this morning."
I'm also sure that it has something to do with the fact that it was a bit overcast today, and I have to admit that I'm probably susceptible to SAD, like my aunt is. I hate gloomy, overcast, dreary, yucky weather. Makes me feel like crap.
There's always a disconnect for me between the solstices and when they actually "happen" for me: I don't feel the days getting shorter or longer right after the solstice. Heck, this year, I didn't feel the change until damn near August, and the summer solstice is June 21.
Realizing that the summer solstice has actually passed upsets me. I'm a summer girl at heart. Always have been. Love the heat. Love the humidity.
Love what you can do in summer that just doesn't happen in the fall, winter or spring: like eat a really good, fresh, ripe tomato that you just pulled off of the plant 30 seconds ago. Or entertain that fantasy of skinny dipping - and maybe, just maybe, if the timing was right, do it. Or drink Coronas whenever you want because it just feels right. Or go to see the Grasshoppers or the Warthogs. Or go to Music in the Streets. Or stay up late, because your body thinks that 9:30 p.m. or 10 p.m. is too early. "Wasn't it just light a little bit ago?" it asks.
*Sigh.*
There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace . . .
A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace . . .
I recognized that there is nothing better than to be glad and to do well during life.
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 12, NAB
7.22.2007
Finding My Focus
It's a topic about which I've written many times before, and perhaps only because I seem to have issues finding it on a consistent basis: focus. As a completely horrible procrastinator (which has kept me from church this morning, the shower that I should have already taken and perhaps from the chores I'd like to still accomplish this afternoon), I find that focus seems to evade me on a fairly regular basis.
And yet, I can't seem to figure out exactly why. It's not so much that I can't focus; there's no ADD or ADHD here. It's not that I'm not intrigued with what I'm doing. It is perhaps because I'm often thinking about what's ahead for me, what I will be doing, what I want to be doing - or perhaps about what's behind, what's happened and perseverating over the past.
It's that I oftentimes can't focus on the now. The present.
Several things in the past couple of days have brought this issue of focus into the spotlight for me:
(a) An amazing book, The Three Questions, given by my dear friend Jim to all of his tournament committee people. (If I told you why this book gave me nice little perspective on focus, I'd ruin the beauty of the book for you.)
(b) My sad inability to really have a good conversation with a friend who was hurting, because I couldn't get out of my own hurt for just a little bit and truly be the person she needed.
(c) Reading this from Melody and, more importantly, her Dad's comment on her blog, which just brought home the fact that I hadn't focused on God this morning, as I'd intended, and beginning to think about the repercussions of that specific lack of focus.
And yet, in my lack of focus this morning, I find that I must thank my dear friend Jess for finding this blog post and reminding me that:
"There is nothing wrong with me.
I don't need to be fixed, doctored, taped up or altered.
I have not always made good decisions in my life. I stayed in relationships that were not good for my soul or mental health. I spent too much money and didn't save enough in my 20s. I wasn't always the best daughter or granddaughter or friend that I could be.
But my essence, my spirit, the me that was born to my Mom and Dad almost (30) years ago, is perfect just the way she is. "
And yet, I can't seem to figure out exactly why. It's not so much that I can't focus; there's no ADD or ADHD here. It's not that I'm not intrigued with what I'm doing. It is perhaps because I'm often thinking about what's ahead for me, what I will be doing, what I want to be doing - or perhaps about what's behind, what's happened and perseverating over the past.
It's that I oftentimes can't focus on the now. The present.
Several things in the past couple of days have brought this issue of focus into the spotlight for me:
(a) An amazing book, The Three Questions, given by my dear friend Jim to all of his tournament committee people. (If I told you why this book gave me nice little perspective on focus, I'd ruin the beauty of the book for you.)
(b) My sad inability to really have a good conversation with a friend who was hurting, because I couldn't get out of my own hurt for just a little bit and truly be the person she needed.
(c) Reading this from Melody and, more importantly, her Dad's comment on her blog, which just brought home the fact that I hadn't focused on God this morning, as I'd intended, and beginning to think about the repercussions of that specific lack of focus.
And yet, in my lack of focus this morning, I find that I must thank my dear friend Jess for finding this blog post and reminding me that:
"There is nothing wrong with me.
I don't need to be fixed, doctored, taped up or altered.
I have not always made good decisions in my life. I stayed in relationships that were not good for my soul or mental health. I spent too much money and didn't save enough in my 20s. I wasn't always the best daughter or granddaughter or friend that I could be.
But my essence, my spirit, the me that was born to my Mom and Dad almost (30) years ago, is perfect just the way she is. "
6.23.2007
Idiots, I Say
It appears that the Guilford County Commissioners want to prove just how much they don't care about things that are supposedly important to Guilford County: economic development, support of the creative class, support of non-profits who serve specific missions for the residents of Guilford County, etc., etc.
Idiots.
How is Guilford County ever supposed to become what it dreams to be if its' leaders don't do what's necessary for those dreams?! They're lacking focus.
Read more here and here.
And yes, even though I DON'T pay property taxes in that county and I DON'T vote in that county, I spend more than 25% of my time there and spend lots of my money in other taxes there, so I feel like I'm justified in my opinion.
Heck, my opinion doesn't need justification. It's an opinion. Take it or leave it.
Idiots.
How is Guilford County ever supposed to become what it dreams to be if its' leaders don't do what's necessary for those dreams?! They're lacking focus.
Read more here and here.
And yes, even though I DON'T pay property taxes in that county and I DON'T vote in that county, I spend more than 25% of my time there and spend lots of my money in other taxes there, so I feel like I'm justified in my opinion.
Heck, my opinion doesn't need justification. It's an opinion. Take it or leave it.
6.06.2007
Rules (part II)
Today, I received the following email from a dear friend. It helps to know that the daughter is in grade school.
Everything I really need to know, I learned in my daughter's classroom. Here are the class rules:
1. Listen.
2. Do your work.
3. Be kind.
4. Clean up.
A short while later, another friend added this to the list: 5. Smile.
The question that immediately popped into my head, after these emails, was this: Were these profound thoughts a product of the teacher's brain or were they collected from the learned knowledge of the children? (I am always amazed at the perspective with which children see, especially when that perspective is used to educate an adult.)
Regardless of the genesis, the simplicity of these truths is perhaps what resonates most.
Makes me want to print it and post it - everywhere.
Everything I really need to know, I learned in my daughter's classroom. Here are the class rules:
1. Listen.
2. Do your work.
3. Be kind.
4. Clean up.
A short while later, another friend added this to the list: 5. Smile.
The question that immediately popped into my head, after these emails, was this: Were these profound thoughts a product of the teacher's brain or were they collected from the learned knowledge of the children? (I am always amazed at the perspective with which children see, especially when that perspective is used to educate an adult.)
Regardless of the genesis, the simplicity of these truths is perhaps what resonates most.
Makes me want to print it and post it - everywhere.
5.30.2007
Forgiveness
In the last 48 hours, the overriding theme in my life has been that of forgiveness. I see places where I hope it heals, when it's given. I've had reason myself to be contrite, and hoped that my apologies solicited mercy. It's taken both serious and fairly lighthearted forms - corresponding to the magnitude of the transgression. Nonetheless, this focus makes me value the idea of forgiveness all the more.
It continues to amaze me that humans are capable of an idea like forgiveness. Of course, it's predicated upon a decision to forgive, which given the keystone of free will in all humanity, means that forgiveness is never a forgone conclusion.
Those who realize that forgiveness is a decision also understand that it is not often an easy decision. Pain, frustration, anger and stubbornness all stand in the way of forgiveness at one point or another. One must simply hope that a divine grace intercedes during these times and that eventually, forgiveness is granted and soon thereafter, peace is realized for everyone involved.
Forgiveness has many names, perhaps an outward symbol of the prevalence and necessity of the act in our world.
Among those names: benefaction, beneficence, benevolence, caritas, charity, clemency, compassion, compassionateness, favor, forbearance, forgiveness, grace, generosity, good will, goodness, indulgence, kindliness, kindness, leniency, lenity, love, mercy, pardon, quarter, reprieve, responsiveness, tenderness.
I don't find it unusual to look that list and find several that speak to my history of forgiveness, words which resonate more with me than perhaps with you. Those words define forgiveness for me. They're the ones marked in bold. Which would you choose?
May we all find the strength to make the decision for forgiveness when needed and then to act upon that decision.
5.22.2007
Grandma
(January 4, 1999, 1:08 p.m.)
Sometimes great distances exist between the high points of our lives. Time moves swiftly and we tend to let it slip away without making it count while we wait on another high experience. We discount it as nothing, unless we have reached some spectacular height and have passed ten other people on the way.
The Indian does not consider himself idle when he stands still watching, listening, seeing the stars, or watching the sunset. His "spirit-eyes" absorb these signs and wonders to feed him when he cannot see the rolling hills, the flowing streams.
A narrow view is one that constantly asks, "What shall we eat? What shall I wear? What can make me feel secure? " And all the time, the beauty and peace which costs nothing surround us unnoticed. Envy and lack of inner joy rob us of our peace of mind.
O, listen! Hear! Sing with me, for I am joy.
Peace, Tawanka
Sometimes great distances exist between the high points of our lives. Time moves swiftly and we tend to let it slip away without making it count while we wait on another high experience. We discount it as nothing, unless we have reached some spectacular height and have passed ten other people on the way.
The Indian does not consider himself idle when he stands still watching, listening, seeing the stars, or watching the sunset. His "spirit-eyes" absorb these signs and wonders to feed him when he cannot see the rolling hills, the flowing streams.
A narrow view is one that constantly asks, "What shall we eat? What shall I wear? What can make me feel secure? " And all the time, the beauty and peace which costs nothing surround us unnoticed. Envy and lack of inner joy rob us of our peace of mind.
O, listen! Hear! Sing with me, for I am joy.
Peace, Tawanka
5.19.2007
Grandma's Thoughts
(January 4, 1999, 7:02 a.m.)
When something in our minds rings a bell that warns us, we do well to listen. What is it that wants to lure us away from the chosen path? Is it not from the good side? Then, run like a rabbit!
Every one of us has a sounding board, a testing place that detects the way we are moving. Like a compass, it points the right way-----and we are foolish not to understand. To ignore the impressions that are within us is like trying to go through a door, but refusing to use the doorknob.
IT is one thing to be dense and another to be willfully determined to get lost in the wilderness. Listen to the alarm system. It is there for a good reason------and later we won't have to say that something told us not to go a certain way and we didn't listen.
"He hears voices others do not hear; sees visions that confirm his dreams."
Peace, Tawanka
When something in our minds rings a bell that warns us, we do well to listen. What is it that wants to lure us away from the chosen path? Is it not from the good side? Then, run like a rabbit!
Every one of us has a sounding board, a testing place that detects the way we are moving. Like a compass, it points the right way-----and we are foolish not to understand. To ignore the impressions that are within us is like trying to go through a door, but refusing to use the doorknob.
IT is one thing to be dense and another to be willfully determined to get lost in the wilderness. Listen to the alarm system. It is there for a good reason------and later we won't have to say that something told us not to go a certain way and we didn't listen.
"He hears voices others do not hear; sees visions that confirm his dreams."
Peace, Tawanka
What would you ask for?
At the end of this week, in true INFJ style, I certainly personified these two traits:
- Take their commitments very seriously
- Have very high expectations for themselves.
Go figure. This manifested itself through my need to be superwoman, again. I probably did much, much more than I should have for the Joint Area Meeting for the tourney.
Scratch that. I DID do much, much more than I should have. I'd list exactly what, but that's not the point. In any case, the work was noticed by those who needed to notice and was certainly appreciated, to the point where I was told to "name my price."
Hmm . . . what an interesting concept. I've also never really been one who asks directly for what I want (something I'm trying to learn to overcome), but in this case, I've got no idea of what I might want to ask for it.
Honestly, not many ideas float through my head when I'm as tired as I've been in the last three days (the fact that I slept for three hours when I got home at lunch today should tell you how much sleep I've missed this week). I quickly dismissed two ideas, simply because they were such poor ones, but then again, when you're running on such little sleep, you tend to think only about the necessities: sleep, food, sex, a clean house, a massage, the hot tub, alcohol . . . there's really just no focus.
(Side note: Odd, isn't it, that such intense focus can leave one so completely without focus a short time later? Wonder if that's why criminals screw stuff up when they're leaving a crime scene - or, in my case, why follow-up on projects sometimes takes forever to actually complete.)
I've responded to the request with this: "You decide, because when and if I figure something out, it'll probably be less than I should ask for and you're indebted enough that you'll probably over-deliver." We'll see if that theory turns out to be true.
So, what would you ask for?
- Take their commitments very seriously
- Have very high expectations for themselves.
Go figure. This manifested itself through my need to be superwoman, again. I probably did much, much more than I should have for the Joint Area Meeting for the tourney.
Scratch that. I DID do much, much more than I should have. I'd list exactly what, but that's not the point. In any case, the work was noticed by those who needed to notice and was certainly appreciated, to the point where I was told to "name my price."
Hmm . . . what an interesting concept. I've also never really been one who asks directly for what I want (something I'm trying to learn to overcome), but in this case, I've got no idea of what I might want to ask for it.
Honestly, not many ideas float through my head when I'm as tired as I've been in the last three days (the fact that I slept for three hours when I got home at lunch today should tell you how much sleep I've missed this week). I quickly dismissed two ideas, simply because they were such poor ones, but then again, when you're running on such little sleep, you tend to think only about the necessities: sleep, food, sex, a clean house, a massage, the hot tub, alcohol . . . there's really just no focus.
(Side note: Odd, isn't it, that such intense focus can leave one so completely without focus a short time later? Wonder if that's why criminals screw stuff up when they're leaving a crime scene - or, in my case, why follow-up on projects sometimes takes forever to actually complete.)
I've responded to the request with this: "You decide, because when and if I figure something out, it'll probably be less than I should ask for and you're indebted enough that you'll probably over-deliver." We'll see if that theory turns out to be true.
So, what would you ask for?
5.15.2007
Looking for focus . . .
There's been quite a bit of stress in my life recently, to the point that my body decided it needed to tell me to relax! Sheesh. So I've been thinking about what I need to do for me, what I need to do to keep me healthy, wealthy and wise.
Here's the list:
1) Make a list everyday. Stick to it. Don't add to it. Limit the list to 10.
2) Spend at least one night a week in the house doing whatever I want. No lists and no work for this evening. I'll probably spend most of this on the back porch.
3) Start getting my workouts in during the morning. I've got the time. I'm just lazy and don't want to get up earlier than absolutely necessary. The last two weeks have completely wrecked any semblance of a regular workout that I've had. I can feel it, too.
4) Drink more water.
5) Go to bed at a decent hour every night. Maybe by 10:30, which means I'm up past my bedtime tonight.
6) More duck time.
7) Buy a journal and write. (No, this is NOT my journal; remember the Going Dark post? Goes against the new rules.)
8) Make a budget. Follow it. There's so much on the line now, I'm going to get it right this time.
That's it. I'd add "spend more time with good friends," but I seem to be pretty good at that now. We'll see how I do on this for a while.
Here's the list:
1) Make a list everyday. Stick to it. Don't add to it. Limit the list to 10.
2) Spend at least one night a week in the house doing whatever I want. No lists and no work for this evening. I'll probably spend most of this on the back porch.
3) Start getting my workouts in during the morning. I've got the time. I'm just lazy and don't want to get up earlier than absolutely necessary. The last two weeks have completely wrecked any semblance of a regular workout that I've had. I can feel it, too.
4) Drink more water.
5) Go to bed at a decent hour every night. Maybe by 10:30, which means I'm up past my bedtime tonight.
6) More duck time.
7) Buy a journal and write. (No, this is NOT my journal; remember the Going Dark post? Goes against the new rules.)
8) Make a budget. Follow it. There's so much on the line now, I'm going to get it right this time.
That's it. I'd add "spend more time with good friends," but I seem to be pretty good at that now. We'll see how I do on this for a while.
4.10.2007
Would you have stopped, if you knew it was Joshua Bell?
Wow. The Washington Post has conducted an amazing social experiment on whether people recognize beauty their daily lives.
So, the question becomes: Would you have stopped, if you knew it was Joshua Bell? I'd like to think I would have. I think I've always expressed such a tendency. Heck, I often wanted to stop when the Hare Krishnas were on Franklin Street chanting, because it was so different from the hustle and bustle, because the sounds they were making were so completely different from those of everyone and everything else on the road.
I swooned over almost every street musician in Paris. How cool! (Yep, I'm not much of a city girl, but I'm thrilled that anyone wants to share any talent with me.) I ought to carry my camera with me everywhere, because I'm often accosted by something that strikes me as beautiful. These past couple of days, it's been the stark outline of Centerpointe, the new high rise condos being built in Greensboro, stripped to its steel beams against the distant horizon.
I stop to watch squirrels, birds, or the reflection of sunlight dance on a city street. I've actually noticed how beautiful the respective downtowns of Greensboro and Winston-Salem are during the holidays. I spent several minutes today awed by the fact that I have a beautiful back yard, and yet, I see it every day.
Yep, I think I would have stopped. I don't think that I would have been able to stay the entire time (really, there is the rest of my life to live), but I'd like to think that I would have stayed for a couple of sips of the Buck o'Stars, at least.
So, would you have stopped?
Do you stop for such now?
So, the question becomes: Would you have stopped, if you knew it was Joshua Bell? I'd like to think I would have. I think I've always expressed such a tendency. Heck, I often wanted to stop when the Hare Krishnas were on Franklin Street chanting, because it was so different from the hustle and bustle, because the sounds they were making were so completely different from those of everyone and everything else on the road.
I swooned over almost every street musician in Paris. How cool! (Yep, I'm not much of a city girl, but I'm thrilled that anyone wants to share any talent with me.) I ought to carry my camera with me everywhere, because I'm often accosted by something that strikes me as beautiful. These past couple of days, it's been the stark outline of Centerpointe, the new high rise condos being built in Greensboro, stripped to its steel beams against the distant horizon.
I stop to watch squirrels, birds, or the reflection of sunlight dance on a city street. I've actually noticed how beautiful the respective downtowns of Greensboro and Winston-Salem are during the holidays. I spent several minutes today awed by the fact that I have a beautiful back yard, and yet, I see it every day.
Yep, I think I would have stopped. I don't think that I would have been able to stay the entire time (really, there is the rest of my life to live), but I'd like to think that I would have stayed for a couple of sips of the Buck o'Stars, at least.
So, would you have stopped?
Do you stop for such now?
2.18.2007
The List for 2007
Yes, I realize that I'm quite far into the new year, but it's about time that I posted the list. Most would call this a list of resolutions; I suppose that pretty much encompasses it, but it includes hopes and dreams.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.)
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008.
4) Make a difficult decision.
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year.
6) Have more fun.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.)
8) Get more massages.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.)
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.)
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008.
4) Make a difficult decision.
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year.
6) Have more fun.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.)
8) Get more massages.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.)
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it.
2.08.2007
Year-old Thoughts on Focus That Are Still True
Here's a little something I found recently that I wrote a year or so ago, when the lack of focus around me seemed to be a theme in my life. Particularly, this conspectus is a result of one of those quick and dirty writing sessions; it was something I had to write and I had to get out. It was initially intended to be submitted for publication through the organization's newsletter, and while I will not be doing that now, I still think this is worth saying (or blogging about, for that matter).
*******************************************************************
Focus: A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived.
I’ve been thinking a lot about focus recently. With the passing of 2005, I have found myself relying more and more on my focus. On January 3, 2006, I found myself saying that I should have resolved to do LESS. (I didn’t resolve to do more.)With all of these great endeavors on which to spend my copious amounts of free time, I find that to accomplish anything, I have to be focused all the time.
I applied and was accepted as a committee board member for a very large project. It is a huge step for me. Admittedly, many of you reading this are probably thinking, “Who is she? I don’t recognize her.”
That could be blamed on school, really. I am finishing up my MBA at UNCG, and have had classes on two nights of any Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday of the week for the last three years. That said, if there was a meeting held in the last year, I was probably sitting in class, thoroughly enjoying the privilege for which I pay.
The past several months have also brought larger changes in my everyday life. I moved from a ridiculously low-paying cushy state job with a great team for what I thought was more responsibility and more money. Unfortunately, only one of those things panned out. Nonetheless, I am still adjusting to several hundred new people in an international, private company.
I’ve also accepted a board position with a professional group, learning much more about a profession that I truly enjoy. Being on this board gives me hope that I can once again do what I really enjoy – hopefully soon.
I am also finishing up a three-year stint on my neighborhood association board. And yes, regardless of all that I’m doing, I’ve accepted the newsletter as one of my responsibilities for that position – in return for giving up the website.
You can see that focus is very important in my life. While I’ve always been an avid list maker (I’m quite upset that I can’t find the list that I made earlier this week – I’m sure I’m overlooking something on the new list I created to replace it), I find that just having it on paper and being aware of a responsibility doesn’t even begin to get it done. But having it on paper helps to raise its awareness in your mind – and each time you look at that list, you see that it’s still there and you’re reminded that the task isn’t yet done.
The idea of telling people about focus is a multi-million dollar industry. Don’t believe me? Go to Borders, and take a look at the self-help section. Or, if you’re stuck at a computer, type "focus" into the search field on Amazon. 18,846 books on focus.
My issue, however, isn’t so much focus. I’ve got plenty of that. It’s motivation. And, it’s the marriage of motivation and focus that means I can actually do all that I do. I must admit that I do have this fear that my motivation will decide to leave me (as it sometimes does), but I realize that by remembering my focus will help that motivation return.
Focus helps you define goals, set objectives and work towards those dreams you’ve always wanted. Don’t believe me? Dream map for one year. Heck, just make a list and work off of it. See if it works.
The organization is at a crossroads. It must remain viable to the community, and much more so to the members and potential members. Perhaps the abundance of young professional organizations in Greensboro which aren’t in any way related to this organization says something. The community knows the organization for two things: golf, and unfortunately, parties. That’s it. Survey any of young professionals you know – ask them what the organization does. If you’re surprised at the answers, you know that the organization has lost its focus.
I sincerely doubt that anyone in the national office would define any the chapter the way young professionals in our community (the target market) defines the organization.
The group is lucky in the fact that it's made difficult changes to “keep” the golf tournament. However, it appears that the difficult changes are not over. The organization need to focus on the long-term.
Think about it: if the golf tournament doesn’t continue past 2010, where would the organization be? What would it do? The Christmas parade? Junior Miss? Rib Fest? Could any of these other projects happen – for years - if we don’t have the golf tournament? No, of course not.
For years, the organization's identity has been deeply integrated with everything that the golf tournament is. While it may have been just another project at one time, it hasn’t been that way for decades.
While the golf tournament isn’t and shouldn’t be the only and complete focus, it has become that. I joined the group because I wanted to make a difference in my community. For too long, I’ve ignored the fact that many say all the group does is drink and party. I've now completely given up on it for those very reasons.
At the very least, the organization needs to remake itself. Its image has got to change. If the image doesn’t change, the organization's most valuable things (the “pet projects,” if you will) will. How do you respond to an official who says, “Bob Jones, one of your best volunteers over there, said he’d never join the organization because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s in a fraternity. Why am I letting a bunch of “fraternity” members run this golf tournament?”
Last year, focus could have helped the organization regain what was quickly becoming unattainable: the best chapter in the world. I'm not certain that realizing the need for focus and making significant changes now would be enough to overcome the self-inflicted damage the organization has endured in the last year. At this point, that prized tournament is almost as good as lost - but only for the organization. The tournament will go on, as its board has realized and made the necessary hard changes.
Don’t forget: the quicker you let go of old cheese, you find new cheese.
*******************************************************************
Focus: A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived.
I’ve been thinking a lot about focus recently. With the passing of 2005, I have found myself relying more and more on my focus. On January 3, 2006, I found myself saying that I should have resolved to do LESS. (I didn’t resolve to do more.)With all of these great endeavors on which to spend my copious amounts of free time, I find that to accomplish anything, I have to be focused all the time.
I applied and was accepted as a committee board member for a very large project. It is a huge step for me. Admittedly, many of you reading this are probably thinking, “Who is she? I don’t recognize her.”
That could be blamed on school, really. I am finishing up my MBA at UNCG, and have had classes on two nights of any Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday of the week for the last three years. That said, if there was a meeting held in the last year, I was probably sitting in class, thoroughly enjoying the privilege for which I pay.
The past several months have also brought larger changes in my everyday life. I moved from a ridiculously low-paying cushy state job with a great team for what I thought was more responsibility and more money. Unfortunately, only one of those things panned out. Nonetheless, I am still adjusting to several hundred new people in an international, private company.
I’ve also accepted a board position with a professional group, learning much more about a profession that I truly enjoy. Being on this board gives me hope that I can once again do what I really enjoy – hopefully soon.
I am also finishing up a three-year stint on my neighborhood association board. And yes, regardless of all that I’m doing, I’ve accepted the newsletter as one of my responsibilities for that position – in return for giving up the website.
You can see that focus is very important in my life. While I’ve always been an avid list maker (I’m quite upset that I can’t find the list that I made earlier this week – I’m sure I’m overlooking something on the new list I created to replace it), I find that just having it on paper and being aware of a responsibility doesn’t even begin to get it done. But having it on paper helps to raise its awareness in your mind – and each time you look at that list, you see that it’s still there and you’re reminded that the task isn’t yet done.
The idea of telling people about focus is a multi-million dollar industry. Don’t believe me? Go to Borders, and take a look at the self-help section. Or, if you’re stuck at a computer, type "focus" into the search field on Amazon. 18,846 books on focus.
My issue, however, isn’t so much focus. I’ve got plenty of that. It’s motivation. And, it’s the marriage of motivation and focus that means I can actually do all that I do. I must admit that I do have this fear that my motivation will decide to leave me (as it sometimes does), but I realize that by remembering my focus will help that motivation return.
Focus helps you define goals, set objectives and work towards those dreams you’ve always wanted. Don’t believe me? Dream map for one year. Heck, just make a list and work off of it. See if it works.
The organization is at a crossroads. It must remain viable to the community, and much more so to the members and potential members. Perhaps the abundance of young professional organizations in Greensboro which aren’t in any way related to this organization says something. The community knows the organization for two things: golf, and unfortunately, parties. That’s it. Survey any of young professionals you know – ask them what the organization does. If you’re surprised at the answers, you know that the organization has lost its focus.
I sincerely doubt that anyone in the national office would define any the chapter the way young professionals in our community (the target market) defines the organization.
The group is lucky in the fact that it's made difficult changes to “keep” the golf tournament. However, it appears that the difficult changes are not over. The organization need to focus on the long-term.
Think about it: if the golf tournament doesn’t continue past 2010, where would the organization be? What would it do? The Christmas parade? Junior Miss? Rib Fest? Could any of these other projects happen – for years - if we don’t have the golf tournament? No, of course not.
For years, the organization's identity has been deeply integrated with everything that the golf tournament is. While it may have been just another project at one time, it hasn’t been that way for decades.
While the golf tournament isn’t and shouldn’t be the only and complete focus, it has become that. I joined the group because I wanted to make a difference in my community. For too long, I’ve ignored the fact that many say all the group does is drink and party. I've now completely given up on it for those very reasons.
At the very least, the organization needs to remake itself. Its image has got to change. If the image doesn’t change, the organization's most valuable things (the “pet projects,” if you will) will. How do you respond to an official who says, “Bob Jones, one of your best volunteers over there, said he’d never join the organization because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s in a fraternity. Why am I letting a bunch of “fraternity” members run this golf tournament?”
Last year, focus could have helped the organization regain what was quickly becoming unattainable: the best chapter in the world. I'm not certain that realizing the need for focus and making significant changes now would be enough to overcome the self-inflicted damage the organization has endured in the last year. At this point, that prized tournament is almost as good as lost - but only for the organization. The tournament will go on, as its board has realized and made the necessary hard changes.
Don’t forget: the quicker you let go of old cheese, you find new cheese.
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