Why, oh why, do parents ever even attempt to have a discussion about sex with their grown (or, for that matter, almost grown) children? Mamalikey shares her grand discussion with her mom here. Painful, but hilarious at the same time. Really, parents weren't born yesterday; do they really think such?
I suppose it happens with everyone, but I am incensed to think that my parents are much more liberal about sex and their children than they were when I was younger. Let's put it this way: they had an absolute and complete fit when they finally figured it out (through my own missteps, unfortunately), two boyfriends later.
My brother and sisters - I think they've had it easier. Course, that's what the oldest always does: blaze the way for the others.
And, why is it that one of the odd conversations isn't enough? Yep, as I was sharing with Jess a little tidbit about a duck that I'd like and how, if it were good, I'd give it to every one of the gals in my fam in my generation, mom walks in the kitchen and asks us what's funny.
Um, it's a girl thing, mom. Not really to be shared with mothers.
2.25.2007
Isn't it amazing . . .
what you learn about your friendship years after it's begun? No love lost, of course. :)
And, because it's going to be day full of odd blog stuff, I'm just going to add it all to this post.
- Finally got to explain to my husband what the deal with the "I can smell your brains" joke that flies around my family is about. You can see it here. Of course, I think I like Mitten's second animation better, but this one is all about getting the family joke.
- Went to see the Greensboro Symphony last night and ran into an old co-worker from Guilford Tech. She thought I'd gotten married after I left the college. Um, I was married three months after I began working at the college and I stayed almost 5 years after that. Weird.
Aside from that, the symphony did something really funny: they opened with the national anthem. Yep, they had Alma Adams (State Representative in NC) "conduct" the orchestra. I honestly had to hold myself back from yelling, "Play Ball!" at the end of it. It was so odd that we asked the symphony's executive director about it later. Yep, they open and close the season with it. Last time I checked, the symphony wasn't a sporting event, but maybe I'm missing something.
Otherwise, I was unimpressed. I've been told it was technically good, and maybe I'm a loyal WSSO musical elitist, but this one put me to sleep. Literally. Our seats didn't even make it easy to watch the musicians being musicians (I tend to prefer the mezzanine, you know).
- Had dinner with the boss and her husband prior to the symphony last night. I think they're great.
Nevertheless, dinner was awesome. We went to Saffron, a wonderful little Indian place in Greensboro off of Westover. I had the Shrimp Jalfrazie and loved it. Evidently, they understand that people who order shrimp anything don't just want two or three shrimp. Yep, I had more than 10 fairly large shrimp and it was great. They've got a sister restaurant in Winston, and I've never been, but given what I think about Saffron, I'll be visiting Nawab soon.
- I completely concur with Beth on this one. I just don't think crap from your employer motivates employees. What the first commenter says about the post isn't the same thing that we're discussing here. Yep, $150 at a restaurant is not the same as $150 in cash, but it's much better than a $150 cut glass paperweight.
People don't care about paperweights or certificates or a chance to be called up on stage in front of everyone or a little trinket. It may be fleeting to hand over the $150 in cash or gift certificate, but it's definitely better than the alternatives. (I'm speaking from experience here: I got so much of this junk in K-12 school - have I mentioned that I'm from a family of overachievers? - that I've ditched almost all of it, even the trophies.)
My old accounting firm boss and their HR director ought to learn this one. I feel bad for the people who got those stupid paperweight award things because I couldn't talk them out of it. Oh well.
And, because it's going to be day full of odd blog stuff, I'm just going to add it all to this post.
- Finally got to explain to my husband what the deal with the "I can smell your brains" joke that flies around my family is about. You can see it here. Of course, I think I like Mitten's second animation better, but this one is all about getting the family joke.
- Went to see the Greensboro Symphony last night and ran into an old co-worker from Guilford Tech. She thought I'd gotten married after I left the college. Um, I was married three months after I began working at the college and I stayed almost 5 years after that. Weird.
Aside from that, the symphony did something really funny: they opened with the national anthem. Yep, they had Alma Adams (State Representative in NC) "conduct" the orchestra. I honestly had to hold myself back from yelling, "Play Ball!" at the end of it. It was so odd that we asked the symphony's executive director about it later. Yep, they open and close the season with it. Last time I checked, the symphony wasn't a sporting event, but maybe I'm missing something.
Otherwise, I was unimpressed. I've been told it was technically good, and maybe I'm a loyal WSSO musical elitist, but this one put me to sleep. Literally. Our seats didn't even make it easy to watch the musicians being musicians (I tend to prefer the mezzanine, you know).
- Had dinner with the boss and her husband prior to the symphony last night. I think they're great.
Nevertheless, dinner was awesome. We went to Saffron, a wonderful little Indian place in Greensboro off of Westover. I had the Shrimp Jalfrazie and loved it. Evidently, they understand that people who order shrimp anything don't just want two or three shrimp. Yep, I had more than 10 fairly large shrimp and it was great. They've got a sister restaurant in Winston, and I've never been, but given what I think about Saffron, I'll be visiting Nawab soon.
- I completely concur with Beth on this one. I just don't think crap from your employer motivates employees. What the first commenter says about the post isn't the same thing that we're discussing here. Yep, $150 at a restaurant is not the same as $150 in cash, but it's much better than a $150 cut glass paperweight.
People don't care about paperweights or certificates or a chance to be called up on stage in front of everyone or a little trinket. It may be fleeting to hand over the $150 in cash or gift certificate, but it's definitely better than the alternatives. (I'm speaking from experience here: I got so much of this junk in K-12 school - have I mentioned that I'm from a family of overachievers? - that I've ditched almost all of it, even the trophies.)
My old accounting firm boss and their HR director ought to learn this one. I feel bad for the people who got those stupid paperweight award things because I couldn't talk them out of it. Oh well.
2.22.2007
Quote from a new blog
"No matter how many times I hear I’m created in God’s image, I will always need someone to tell me again."
Marvelous. Check out the rest here.
Marvelous. Check out the rest here.
Reconnecting
This has certainly been the week for reconnecting with old friends for me. Had a great hour-long chat with one of my dearest friends, Ashley, last night and was working up to that point with another of my dear friends, Ely, this evening. And I may make it a point to actually return Melody's call tomorrow because I miss her a lot, too.
It makes me think about the myriad of great friends that I have and have had in this life. Most of them have worked through the years with me; I can say that those who are still around love me enough to overlook the fact that I'm a tenderheart, that I procrastinate more than anyone ever has, and that I basically never call. I might email, but I'll never call. Honestly, I've really only lost one friend that I thought I'd have around forever.
This never calling thing seems to come from my younger years. My parents have never been big on staying connected with people; I think this comes from having to pay for long distance. Everyone in my extended family was in another state (and certainly not the same state) and I can remember that money was a problem for my family for the early years of my life. (Nothing imposes itself on a child's mind as do strong emotions and I can clearly identify several strong emotions associated with money in my younger years. I'd bet, however, that my sisters don't remember this at all. In fact, I seem to remember that by the time they came along, most of the money issues were solved, if not at least abated.)
Nevertheless, regardless of the money issue, my parents never developed a penchant for keeping in touch with anyone. As I grew up, I began to ask my mother and father if they'd heard from the aunts or uncles or grandparents whom I so loved. More often than not, the answer was no.
All that to say that this lack of sharing information with those who are important in my life is a learned response. I got it honestly. I'm not inherently an uncaring person; I'm just one who never learned it was important to stay in touch.
Ergo, I love that my friends understand this about me. I love that they also say, "Well, I haven't called you either, so it's not just your fault." I love that Jess won't let me go more than two days without calling me. I love that they all love me enough to take my call whenever I call regardless of who called last.
"There isn’t much better in this life than finding a way to spend a few hours in conversation with people you respect and love." Amen, brother.
It makes me think about the myriad of great friends that I have and have had in this life. Most of them have worked through the years with me; I can say that those who are still around love me enough to overlook the fact that I'm a tenderheart, that I procrastinate more than anyone ever has, and that I basically never call. I might email, but I'll never call. Honestly, I've really only lost one friend that I thought I'd have around forever.
This never calling thing seems to come from my younger years. My parents have never been big on staying connected with people; I think this comes from having to pay for long distance. Everyone in my extended family was in another state (and certainly not the same state) and I can remember that money was a problem for my family for the early years of my life. (Nothing imposes itself on a child's mind as do strong emotions and I can clearly identify several strong emotions associated with money in my younger years. I'd bet, however, that my sisters don't remember this at all. In fact, I seem to remember that by the time they came along, most of the money issues were solved, if not at least abated.)
Nevertheless, regardless of the money issue, my parents never developed a penchant for keeping in touch with anyone. As I grew up, I began to ask my mother and father if they'd heard from the aunts or uncles or grandparents whom I so loved. More often than not, the answer was no.
All that to say that this lack of sharing information with those who are important in my life is a learned response. I got it honestly. I'm not inherently an uncaring person; I'm just one who never learned it was important to stay in touch.
Ergo, I love that my friends understand this about me. I love that they also say, "Well, I haven't called you either, so it's not just your fault." I love that Jess won't let me go more than two days without calling me. I love that they all love me enough to take my call whenever I call regardless of who called last.
"There isn’t much better in this life than finding a way to spend a few hours in conversation with people you respect and love." Amen, brother.
2.18.2007
The List for 2007
Yes, I realize that I'm quite far into the new year, but it's about time that I posted the list. Most would call this a list of resolutions; I suppose that pretty much encompasses it, but it includes hopes and dreams.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.)
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008.
4) Make a difficult decision.
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year.
6) Have more fun.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.)
8) Get more massages.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.)
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it.
1) Learn how to play golf and then play golf, lots.
2) Learn how to scuba dive, so that I can go diving in Belize in 2008. (See #3.)
3) Plan a visit to Alli, a dear friend who's in the Peace Corps in Belize, for 2008.
4) Make a difficult decision.
5) Endeavor to read more books, to where the stack on the corner table is under 5 books by the end of the year.
6) Have more fun.
7) Act out some fantasies. (Read what you want to into this one, but you're not getting detail unless I want to share it with you.)
8) Get more massages.
9) Rescue my grandmother's emails from the computer I haven't used in 7 years. At some point, I'll post them here.
10) Volunteer more and give more. I have what many good, Southern, church-going people would call a blessed life. I know it and I know that it could be gone in an instant. I'd better be grateful and share.
11) Workout on a fairly regular basis. (I've completely sucked at this one in the past two weeks, and seeing as how I'm going to give blood this afternoon, I'm not going to get it today, either.)
12) Find another "damn" dress that I can afford - and wear it.
2.16.2007
Because he hasn't gotten his own log-in yet
. . . and because they're good quotes. Thanks, Jim.
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
-- William Goldman, from The Princess Bride
Life is just what happens to you / While you're busy making other plans.
-- John Lennon, from Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give. -- Sir Winston Churchill (This is one of my favorites; it is pinned to my cork board at the office and has traveled through at least two jobs with me.)
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. -- Woody Allen
I drank what? -- Socrates (last words)
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
-- William Goldman, from The Princess Bride
Life is just what happens to you / While you're busy making other plans.
-- John Lennon, from Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give. -- Sir Winston Churchill (This is one of my favorites; it is pinned to my cork board at the office and has traveled through at least two jobs with me.)
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. -- Woody Allen
I drank what? -- Socrates (last words)
2.15.2007
Life Means So Much
Chris Rice has the best song out there about such harsh reminders. Here's a sample and the lyrics . . .
Everyday is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there’s plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessings
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketchings
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Everyday is a bank account
And time is our currency
So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor
We get twenty-four hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who’s under
Chorus
Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?And don’t you think giving his own
Would prove the worth of yours and mine?
Chorus
Copyright 2000 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)
Everyday is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there’s plenty of room for writing in
All we do and believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessings
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketchings
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
Somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Everyday is a bank account
And time is our currency
So no one’s rich, nobody’s poor
We get twenty-four hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who’s under
Chorus
Has anybody lived who knew the value of a life?And don’t you think giving his own
Would prove the worth of yours and mine?
Chorus
Copyright 2000 Clumsy Fly Music (ASCAP)
A harsh reminder
It happens, every once in a while, that you are reminded that life isn't just about you and your world. You're reminded of bigger things, which take you from "shallow theology straight into deep simplicity" - because that's what it is. When things like this happen, your system is so shocked that everything is completely re-framed and the truly important becomes truly important again, at least for a little bit.
Today, several hundred people and I celebrated the end of a life. To be honest, I had only met the man perhaps twice and both times were in the past year. His was a life filled with a myriad of blessings, and as all lives, challenges, but one lived well nonetheless. His was a life that impacted so many through his work and the evidence of such was overwhelming at the service.
Given that I was not close with this man, I would have considered not going, until I remembered something I've learned since I've had to start attending funerals: they are for the living, not for the dead. Thus, because I consider myself a friend to his son and his daughter-in-law, I was happy to pay my respects.
Funerals are the formal opportunity for friends and family to grieve. They are the time when society says, "It's ok to show this emotion. This is the time to do it. You have all the permission you need." Certainly, the grief doesn't end when the funeral does and it often never completely leaves a person.
Over the next several weeks and months, I know that my friends who lost this great man will be frequently distressed by the normal and everyday. Simple questions like, "How's your family?" and any reminder of a father could inadvertently upset them for quite some time.
The harsh reminder that life is fleeting and should be cherished has been shared among many this day. That we all should have the ability to hang onto that reminder for more than a day would be a blessing in disguise. May it be so.
Today, several hundred people and I celebrated the end of a life. To be honest, I had only met the man perhaps twice and both times were in the past year. His was a life filled with a myriad of blessings, and as all lives, challenges, but one lived well nonetheless. His was a life that impacted so many through his work and the evidence of such was overwhelming at the service.
Given that I was not close with this man, I would have considered not going, until I remembered something I've learned since I've had to start attending funerals: they are for the living, not for the dead. Thus, because I consider myself a friend to his son and his daughter-in-law, I was happy to pay my respects.
Funerals are the formal opportunity for friends and family to grieve. They are the time when society says, "It's ok to show this emotion. This is the time to do it. You have all the permission you need." Certainly, the grief doesn't end when the funeral does and it often never completely leaves a person.
Over the next several weeks and months, I know that my friends who lost this great man will be frequently distressed by the normal and everyday. Simple questions like, "How's your family?" and any reminder of a father could inadvertently upset them for quite some time.
The harsh reminder that life is fleeting and should be cherished has been shared among many this day. That we all should have the ability to hang onto that reminder for more than a day would be a blessing in disguise. May it be so.
2.10.2007
Grump.
(This one's a general bitch about my day, so if you'd rather not read it, that's fine by me.)
It seems that life's been rolling along nicely for me for quite awhile, but I'm starting to wonder if that's about to end. I've been grumpy for a day or two, and while it could be completely connected to hormones (who ever said women WANTED the ability to have children anyway?!), it just makes me wonder if my recent run of seemingly good luck is about to run out. And I'm fairly pissed about that: 2007 is supposed to be a banner year for me, or at least I've convinced myself of that. Don't really know why.
Fuss #1: If you're mad at me, tell me. I'm not even going to say please; just do it. I'm starting to think there are a good number of people who've put me on that list, but who, for whatever reason, aren't telling me or are avoiding telling me when I ask them. I'm seriously considering asking to find out whether I'm right about this and probably will, so if you get an email stating such, this fuss is for you.
Fuss #2: Why can't my bank have just a few Saturday hours? Just two or three? That's all I need, really. Gotta roll over not one, but two 401(k)s, deposit a check, and set up a checking account. This doesn't take lots of time, but it certainly takes more time than I've got in the morning. (Yes, I am spoiled; yes, I know that I don't have to be at work until 9, but I've completely succumbed to staying in bed as long as I can. That pisses me off, too.)
Fuss #3: Why can't people pick up clothes off the floor?! It's really not that hard to do; I do it everyday and I'm sick of having to do it. Grow up, for heaven's sake.
Fuss #4: Really, I don't think I'm ready for spring. I'd happily settled into my winter routine by the beginning of this week, but evidently it's time for that to change again. Maybe it's not so much that I'd settled into a winter routine, but that I've just gotten so used to not having anyone else around that I'm upset my time will now be limited. I guess I enjoyed it more than I expected I would.
Fuss #5: I want to go somewhere warm, with fruity, frozen drinks - because it'd be better than cleaning the house (which is what I should be doing now).
Now, I'm seriously considering just drinking for the rest of the afternoon, and while I certainly do have beer in the house, it's just not what I'm interested in, so maybe this afternoon when I'm running my errands, I'll hit the ABC store, too.
It seems that life's been rolling along nicely for me for quite awhile, but I'm starting to wonder if that's about to end. I've been grumpy for a day or two, and while it could be completely connected to hormones (who ever said women WANTED the ability to have children anyway?!), it just makes me wonder if my recent run of seemingly good luck is about to run out. And I'm fairly pissed about that: 2007 is supposed to be a banner year for me, or at least I've convinced myself of that. Don't really know why.
Fuss #1: If you're mad at me, tell me. I'm not even going to say please; just do it. I'm starting to think there are a good number of people who've put me on that list, but who, for whatever reason, aren't telling me or are avoiding telling me when I ask them. I'm seriously considering asking to find out whether I'm right about this and probably will, so if you get an email stating such, this fuss is for you.
Fuss #2: Why can't my bank have just a few Saturday hours? Just two or three? That's all I need, really. Gotta roll over not one, but two 401(k)s, deposit a check, and set up a checking account. This doesn't take lots of time, but it certainly takes more time than I've got in the morning. (Yes, I am spoiled; yes, I know that I don't have to be at work until 9, but I've completely succumbed to staying in bed as long as I can. That pisses me off, too.)
Fuss #3: Why can't people pick up clothes off the floor?! It's really not that hard to do; I do it everyday and I'm sick of having to do it. Grow up, for heaven's sake.
Fuss #4: Really, I don't think I'm ready for spring. I'd happily settled into my winter routine by the beginning of this week, but evidently it's time for that to change again. Maybe it's not so much that I'd settled into a winter routine, but that I've just gotten so used to not having anyone else around that I'm upset my time will now be limited. I guess I enjoyed it more than I expected I would.
Fuss #5: I want to go somewhere warm, with fruity, frozen drinks - because it'd be better than cleaning the house (which is what I should be doing now).
Now, I'm seriously considering just drinking for the rest of the afternoon, and while I certainly do have beer in the house, it's just not what I'm interested in, so maybe this afternoon when I'm running my errands, I'll hit the ABC store, too.
2.09.2007
2.08.2007
Year-old Thoughts on Focus That Are Still True
Here's a little something I found recently that I wrote a year or so ago, when the lack of focus around me seemed to be a theme in my life. Particularly, this conspectus is a result of one of those quick and dirty writing sessions; it was something I had to write and I had to get out. It was initially intended to be submitted for publication through the organization's newsletter, and while I will not be doing that now, I still think this is worth saying (or blogging about, for that matter).
*******************************************************************
Focus: A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived.
I’ve been thinking a lot about focus recently. With the passing of 2005, I have found myself relying more and more on my focus. On January 3, 2006, I found myself saying that I should have resolved to do LESS. (I didn’t resolve to do more.)With all of these great endeavors on which to spend my copious amounts of free time, I find that to accomplish anything, I have to be focused all the time.
I applied and was accepted as a committee board member for a very large project. It is a huge step for me. Admittedly, many of you reading this are probably thinking, “Who is she? I don’t recognize her.”
That could be blamed on school, really. I am finishing up my MBA at UNCG, and have had classes on two nights of any Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday of the week for the last three years. That said, if there was a meeting held in the last year, I was probably sitting in class, thoroughly enjoying the privilege for which I pay.
The past several months have also brought larger changes in my everyday life. I moved from a ridiculously low-paying cushy state job with a great team for what I thought was more responsibility and more money. Unfortunately, only one of those things panned out. Nonetheless, I am still adjusting to several hundred new people in an international, private company.
I’ve also accepted a board position with a professional group, learning much more about a profession that I truly enjoy. Being on this board gives me hope that I can once again do what I really enjoy – hopefully soon.
I am also finishing up a three-year stint on my neighborhood association board. And yes, regardless of all that I’m doing, I’ve accepted the newsletter as one of my responsibilities for that position – in return for giving up the website.
You can see that focus is very important in my life. While I’ve always been an avid list maker (I’m quite upset that I can’t find the list that I made earlier this week – I’m sure I’m overlooking something on the new list I created to replace it), I find that just having it on paper and being aware of a responsibility doesn’t even begin to get it done. But having it on paper helps to raise its awareness in your mind – and each time you look at that list, you see that it’s still there and you’re reminded that the task isn’t yet done.
The idea of telling people about focus is a multi-million dollar industry. Don’t believe me? Go to Borders, and take a look at the self-help section. Or, if you’re stuck at a computer, type "focus" into the search field on Amazon. 18,846 books on focus.
My issue, however, isn’t so much focus. I’ve got plenty of that. It’s motivation. And, it’s the marriage of motivation and focus that means I can actually do all that I do. I must admit that I do have this fear that my motivation will decide to leave me (as it sometimes does), but I realize that by remembering my focus will help that motivation return.
Focus helps you define goals, set objectives and work towards those dreams you’ve always wanted. Don’t believe me? Dream map for one year. Heck, just make a list and work off of it. See if it works.
The organization is at a crossroads. It must remain viable to the community, and much more so to the members and potential members. Perhaps the abundance of young professional organizations in Greensboro which aren’t in any way related to this organization says something. The community knows the organization for two things: golf, and unfortunately, parties. That’s it. Survey any of young professionals you know – ask them what the organization does. If you’re surprised at the answers, you know that the organization has lost its focus.
I sincerely doubt that anyone in the national office would define any the chapter the way young professionals in our community (the target market) defines the organization.
The group is lucky in the fact that it's made difficult changes to “keep” the golf tournament. However, it appears that the difficult changes are not over. The organization need to focus on the long-term.
Think about it: if the golf tournament doesn’t continue past 2010, where would the organization be? What would it do? The Christmas parade? Junior Miss? Rib Fest? Could any of these other projects happen – for years - if we don’t have the golf tournament? No, of course not.
For years, the organization's identity has been deeply integrated with everything that the golf tournament is. While it may have been just another project at one time, it hasn’t been that way for decades.
While the golf tournament isn’t and shouldn’t be the only and complete focus, it has become that. I joined the group because I wanted to make a difference in my community. For too long, I’ve ignored the fact that many say all the group does is drink and party. I've now completely given up on it for those very reasons.
At the very least, the organization needs to remake itself. Its image has got to change. If the image doesn’t change, the organization's most valuable things (the “pet projects,” if you will) will. How do you respond to an official who says, “Bob Jones, one of your best volunteers over there, said he’d never join the organization because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s in a fraternity. Why am I letting a bunch of “fraternity” members run this golf tournament?”
Last year, focus could have helped the organization regain what was quickly becoming unattainable: the best chapter in the world. I'm not certain that realizing the need for focus and making significant changes now would be enough to overcome the self-inflicted damage the organization has endured in the last year. At this point, that prized tournament is almost as good as lost - but only for the organization. The tournament will go on, as its board has realized and made the necessary hard changes.
Don’t forget: the quicker you let go of old cheese, you find new cheese.
*******************************************************************
Focus: A condition in which something can be clearly apprehended or perceived.
I’ve been thinking a lot about focus recently. With the passing of 2005, I have found myself relying more and more on my focus. On January 3, 2006, I found myself saying that I should have resolved to do LESS. (I didn’t resolve to do more.)With all of these great endeavors on which to spend my copious amounts of free time, I find that to accomplish anything, I have to be focused all the time.
I applied and was accepted as a committee board member for a very large project. It is a huge step for me. Admittedly, many of you reading this are probably thinking, “Who is she? I don’t recognize her.”
That could be blamed on school, really. I am finishing up my MBA at UNCG, and have had classes on two nights of any Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday of the week for the last three years. That said, if there was a meeting held in the last year, I was probably sitting in class, thoroughly enjoying the privilege for which I pay.
The past several months have also brought larger changes in my everyday life. I moved from a ridiculously low-paying cushy state job with a great team for what I thought was more responsibility and more money. Unfortunately, only one of those things panned out. Nonetheless, I am still adjusting to several hundred new people in an international, private company.
I’ve also accepted a board position with a professional group, learning much more about a profession that I truly enjoy. Being on this board gives me hope that I can once again do what I really enjoy – hopefully soon.
I am also finishing up a three-year stint on my neighborhood association board. And yes, regardless of all that I’m doing, I’ve accepted the newsletter as one of my responsibilities for that position – in return for giving up the website.
You can see that focus is very important in my life. While I’ve always been an avid list maker (I’m quite upset that I can’t find the list that I made earlier this week – I’m sure I’m overlooking something on the new list I created to replace it), I find that just having it on paper and being aware of a responsibility doesn’t even begin to get it done. But having it on paper helps to raise its awareness in your mind – and each time you look at that list, you see that it’s still there and you’re reminded that the task isn’t yet done.
The idea of telling people about focus is a multi-million dollar industry. Don’t believe me? Go to Borders, and take a look at the self-help section. Or, if you’re stuck at a computer, type "focus" into the search field on Amazon. 18,846 books on focus.
My issue, however, isn’t so much focus. I’ve got plenty of that. It’s motivation. And, it’s the marriage of motivation and focus that means I can actually do all that I do. I must admit that I do have this fear that my motivation will decide to leave me (as it sometimes does), but I realize that by remembering my focus will help that motivation return.
Focus helps you define goals, set objectives and work towards those dreams you’ve always wanted. Don’t believe me? Dream map for one year. Heck, just make a list and work off of it. See if it works.
The organization is at a crossroads. It must remain viable to the community, and much more so to the members and potential members. Perhaps the abundance of young professional organizations in Greensboro which aren’t in any way related to this organization says something. The community knows the organization for two things: golf, and unfortunately, parties. That’s it. Survey any of young professionals you know – ask them what the organization does. If you’re surprised at the answers, you know that the organization has lost its focus.
I sincerely doubt that anyone in the national office would define any the chapter the way young professionals in our community (the target market) defines the organization.
The group is lucky in the fact that it's made difficult changes to “keep” the golf tournament. However, it appears that the difficult changes are not over. The organization need to focus on the long-term.
Think about it: if the golf tournament doesn’t continue past 2010, where would the organization be? What would it do? The Christmas parade? Junior Miss? Rib Fest? Could any of these other projects happen – for years - if we don’t have the golf tournament? No, of course not.
For years, the organization's identity has been deeply integrated with everything that the golf tournament is. While it may have been just another project at one time, it hasn’t been that way for decades.
While the golf tournament isn’t and shouldn’t be the only and complete focus, it has become that. I joined the group because I wanted to make a difference in my community. For too long, I’ve ignored the fact that many say all the group does is drink and party. I've now completely given up on it for those very reasons.
At the very least, the organization needs to remake itself. Its image has got to change. If the image doesn’t change, the organization's most valuable things (the “pet projects,” if you will) will. How do you respond to an official who says, “Bob Jones, one of your best volunteers over there, said he’d never join the organization because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s in a fraternity. Why am I letting a bunch of “fraternity” members run this golf tournament?”
Last year, focus could have helped the organization regain what was quickly becoming unattainable: the best chapter in the world. I'm not certain that realizing the need for focus and making significant changes now would be enough to overcome the self-inflicted damage the organization has endured in the last year. At this point, that prized tournament is almost as good as lost - but only for the organization. The tournament will go on, as its board has realized and made the necessary hard changes.
Don’t forget: the quicker you let go of old cheese, you find new cheese.
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